and for my it has ended how it started for me
cruddy
honestly 2014 hasnt been one of my best years by far
but i have also achieved a lot this year
so i cant moan, just a lot of bad things happened
For the past couple of days i have felt off in myself
not feeling right or sleeping well - didnt think much of it
but today i woke up and felt like death
i hadnt slept well during the night
but honest i felt awful
my head hurt on the pillow, my nose was clogged,
i felt sickly and my neck hurt and my face felt pressured
i'd got a cold.....a stinking pointless cold
could not believe it as this morning i had to have a blood test
a blood test feeling the way i did
i just wanted to put myself in a coma for a few days
anyway i had tiffin to clean out this morning
which nakerd me out i had to rest afterwards
tiffin wore me out full stop today
I had the blood test i was kept waiting 20mins
they were running late
great gives me more time to get worked up!
but i was determined to be strong today
i felt so sick with the cold never mind the nausea
brought on by needle fear
i was determined i would not throw up and make a show of myself
no matter how much i felt like i was gonna bring my breakfast up
the woman called me in and each time my mum
has to embarrassingly announce how i must lay down for this
the woman how looked like she couldnt give a crap altered the chair
for me to lay back on
she put the strap on my arm - which instantly sets me off
she left it there and went to go get another member of staff
to confirm what i was being tested for
mean while im getting close to passing out
she stabbed me and im thinkg "ok be over in a min"
no she was a slow as anything i was sweating
mum said she could feel the heat radiating off me
why cant i produce this heat on a winter's day!?
she took the needle out and said "its not working"
so she stabbed again and it didnt work again
at this point i was half passed out i couldnt move my body
or open my eyes i could just hear
she wanted to stab the other arm
to which i managed to say "i need a minute otherwise i'm gonna faint"
she wasnt bothered!!!! she just continued
now it worked this time but how i didnt fully pass out i do not know
i did try to be strong
but my god she stabbed me hard it made me yell out!
it took a while for me to be able to stand
all the time being pressured by this woman to leave the room
"we have to be out of here by 11:45" it was 11:55 - not my problem
she was the one running late not me
besides i had rung up in advance saying i needed a double appointment
cus i take a long time to get my blood pressure back up
she wasnt bothered and said "your better off getting the first appointment"
so basically i cant win get told to go at the end and the beginning
ether way im gonna delay em XD
came home rested after the punishment of being stabbed 3 times
thats the first time they had to stab me more than once
just me luck on a day i feel like crap
not done much today
i made my brother a case for his tablet
he loved it
went to do my skirt but ran out of energy
and i dont have the trimming i need
took a photo of lily and pinky
but they were hard work
even lily my star model didnt wanna co-operate
so i gave up
hazel co-operated the other day tho
feel asleep and stayed in bed 2 hours to rest
id like to dance today but i know its not happening
so i would like to try some gentle stretches some yoga maybe
tiffin had the confidence today for the first time to lay out
when they lay like this it means theyre very happy and content
so a nice way for me to end the day seeing him do that next to
me whilst i'm typing away
not staying up tonight - never do
10pm for me or earlier!
whereas my brother has been to the shop for beer and vodka
hes enjoying his night XD
tomorrow all depends on how i feel
but i believe we're having granny over for dinner
happy new year to you all
