Evening
I had to get up at 1:15am as I felt sick and achy, so I got up for an hour and ate the house out of cereal then crawled back to my bed where my alarm woke me much too soon
I felt a bit off this morning but continued with my routine and sat with Oz too
at 7am whilst I finish the last mouth full of my breakfast - a hot chocolate
my dad comes storming in the living room
"local lock down, no meeting between house holds"
i said "yeah i know"
he said "well can you arrange for Jack to come over at the weekend"
I said "I am not sure as his mum has a strict job"
he rolled his eyes like a teenager - bearing in mine he was not nice and was almost yelling and was confrontational at 7am about a subject I am very fragile about right now
i said "dont roll your eyes its not my fault"
he said "dont you be rude to me, Jack needs to come over here, you're going to lose the house at this rate"
i said "I do know that I just havent had time to talk to Jack yet"
my throat constricting, Oz decided it was toilet time so I picked him up to put him outside
he said "thats it walk away from me, walk away from your problems"
what an arse hole
of course i am crying at this point
does he enjoy making me upset? why does he talk to his customers nicer than he talks to me? what did i do to deserve that? does he not think i dont think about these things?
so I go upstairs to tie my hair up for school, crying
mum sees me and I tell her. shes annoyed cus she has said to dad that I am very fragile right now and I dont need this. Im still crying shes telling me to breath and yeah I had to go at this point
I cried all the way to work. Sat in my car composing myself as I looked bloody awful
I rang mum as I was panicing what dad would say to me when I got home but she reassured me she would talk to him and tell him to back off
20mins late going into work I had just about composed myself
I saw Jack - I hadnt told him I was upset this morning and as soon as I saw him. I broke down in tears. He asked me what was wrong and I said "just dad. he's an arse hole"
he offered to do my practical this morning but I wanted to do it so I went off to do that
and I actually did it very well
I came back and Jack made me a tea bless him and we had biscuits and stuff
the whole day was a massive slog as crying for over an hour takes it out of me big style
so I was drained and looked like death but I knew when I would see my dad next he wouldnt be sorry or bothered that id had such a crap day cus of him. he has no remorse what so ever
i got home and cried a bit more! my face is sore from salty tears and wiping my nose
my eyes sting a lot too
mum made me tea and stuff and she said she had spoken to dad and he said "thought it would be an ideal time to talk to her, then she can see jack" she said "no, not at at 7am and not like that"
I couldnt be bothered with life so took 3 types of pain killers and crawled up to bed
no one woke me for dinner and everyone was out when I woke up so I warmed my dinner up and ate alone in the kitchen and then I packed all my ebay stuff up as I wanted to feel like i had done something productive with my evening
so yeah crappy ass day
tomorrow is friday, I have school then I am going over to Nigel's
