Evening
So last night I had happily sat next to Jack drawing, working on his Hammington picture. But called it a night at 9pmm so I could go and paint my nails alone in front of What we do in the shadows
I went to bed at 10pm, but struggled to sleep, my thoughts just plummeted massively. I went from feeling pretty ok in my self to thoughts of harming my self. I have no control over where my thoughts head but my head was so busy, I struggled to read in bed I ended up reading the same paragraphs and pages over and over again. So i gave up. Listened to the thoughts in bed til I nodded off around 11:30pm. Got woke up at midnight by Jack climbing into bed and this unsettled me greatly. I was in so much damn pain. I was slightly annoyed that I had been woken up even tho he had probably been as quiet as he could have been. This is something i just need to get used to - this double bed and someone climbing into it after I have fallen asleep. All in time I guess
so we got up and I heavily dosed myself up I didnt care, I didnt tell Jack how much I was having he would only worry and probably not slept. We had hot chocolate and biscuits. I fell asleep really quite fast thanks to pain killers. Next thing i knew I was waking up rather groggy at 8:30am. Jack was already awake and had been in and out of bed, flushed the toilet and everything but I dont wake up to that but somehow wake up to him coming to bed >.> I felt like going back to sleep all thanks to midnight pain killers and Jack said I didnt need to get up but the freezer could come at any minute and I didnt want to leave with him. So i got up, literally 1 minute later the delivery men rang up to say they were 10 mins away. So good job I got up
delivery men turned up and took our damaged freezer and replaced it with a new one ^^ no problems. We were all sorted before 9am!
I went for a shower and got ready to go out and we went to meet Harvey and Theo and we went for a nice winter walk round a park. We walked by some shops and we had cake from a bakery which was nice and sweet and needed. We went into a charity shop and I got a new mat for me to lay on at work for only £3! its basically a fold away yoga mat. so I am glad I have a replacement for that.
we left Harvey and Theo, it was really nice to see them despite my mood flocculating whilst we were with them. We said we would go for another walk next tuesday with them. We went to a hard ware shop for some wire meshing to secure the garden then went home. Jack drove us home. I was very very achy and in a lot of pain.
I got home, had a brew, several pain killers and just collapsed on the bed after my tea. Jack very kindly made our cheshire cheese soup, i havent made it in a couple of years and it was as good as I remember it he did well ^^ he even cleaned up! I was back on the bed and mum texted Jack asking if she could come over, I told him that she could. So at almost 3pm mum came over with the Ozwald, who has been doing poos in the new hutch - he found it open first thing this morning and was making it known it was his now -____- mum has since scrubbed it clean and left it to air. He had a good hop round and I put treats in his new treat pot and gave him one ^^ i loved having him over, we need each other.
Mum took him home after 4pm, Jack had left us alone to talk after he had made us a brew. He was really helpful today ^^
We watched more of what we do in the shadows and then went on computers then had our very easy dinner of gammon we left in the slow cooker all day for about 9 hours in cola XD it was soooo good we had it on cobs.
after that my brother came over in my dad's van with the new rabbit hutch for it to dry in our garage as it is upsetting Oz by being on top of his hutch. So it is clean and drying in our garage now.
My brother stayed til almost 9pm just talking to me and Jack which was nice I am so glad he has been coming over and spending time with me ^^ I was worried he wouldnt be bothered or miss me.
he left and I came to do my diary. I am shattered so I am gonna finish up here and read in bed. I have no concentration for drawing tonight it is too late now. Jack is playing online with Harvey and Theo for the first time in a good week or so. Not sure what time he will be finished at its 9:40pm and he only started at 9pm. He best not wake me again >.>
tomorrow
I am maybe dancing? I might give dancing a go in the morning, have a shower then go over to mum's. she wants to give her best friend 2 cushions for her new camper van for her birthday in January so I said I would make the cushion covers as she wasnt having any luck finding a decent cushion online. So I ordered all the fabric and such and now it has all arrived I can make it. But my craft stuff is all at mum's so I will be over there working tomorrow and I will be tasking Jack with many jobs...how much he gets done is another question!
Been a bit stressed tho cus we have stuff to do
basically we need to make the garden secure for Oz, I need to clean the garage out to make it safe for Oz, move Oz over
the spare room needs the coving sticking back up (fell down due to mould and damp) the room needs painting, the wardrobes from Luke need building back up in there, I need to bring the rest of my clothes over from Mum's once the wardrobes are up
when we went to the hardware shop today they have a sale on bathrooms til 11th January and I think we could afford to have ours done so I need to book an appointment with them to design our bathroom and pay for it before 11th jan to get the sale discount.
so much to do
stresses me out
my health is up and down - mostly down - how long do i give it til i see the doctor?
yeah Jo's head is spinning
people keep saying to me "its not all got to be done in one day, dont stress, we will sort it. its ok"
yeah its hard
