I can't tell you how tired I am
seriously, i do not know how I have got through the last 8 days
through sheer determination >.>
It was sooo hard to get up at 7am this morning I just wanted
to say "sod the day" and go back to sleep DX
I didnt have any nightmares, but if its not nightmares waking me
up its the bloody owls round here!!! theyre sooo noisy ><
I must say being tired has a lot of downsides for me
for one it makes my condition 10x harder
but also the thoughts in my head get a lot stronger
i cant stop it, i'll do anything, pay anything, just make it stop
ive had it none stop since ive been in manchester
why why why do i get so many thoughts about what i have eaten
and about how much i have gained and got to lose and how fat i am
ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!! I literally will be insane one day i can see it
i cant stop it, its relentless and i dont know what to do
i mean what is the difference between thoughts and voices?
i dont consider myself fat so why do i get these "thoughts"
i dont understand and i wish i did
anyway today I had an event at some business park
in fact it was at the business park Helina used to work at
a few months back so that what kinda strange
i arrived on time and Seth was already there
we did 3 30min shows i must say i probably looked like
i must have been hung over or something, i was turning round to yawn
i looked shattered and zombie like
Seth took the lead and i was grateful
he let me play with his huge bubble maker tho which is just amazing
the shows went fine i dont feel like i was needed as such tho
its not like a birthday party or after school club where i can help
out with the kids on hands on work, its just presenting and getting things
ready for Seth, the hydrogen balloon was good tho, we burn it til it explodes
and i actually felt the heat off it today and when our balloon popped
it caused someone's balloon in the audience to pop XD
A lady who worked at the business took a liking to me
she was very eccentric for a lady her age and she asked if i would like to see
the inside of the factory, well i can't say machining is my cup of tea
but how often do you get to see in side a factory so I agreed
and at the end of the day she took me round which was nice of her :)
During the day I decorated 2 cakes for 40p, i took photos i'll show em tomorrow
I did 1 of the cakes for Seth but he doesnt eat cake apparently >.> missing out
so i ate em both
the lady was working on the bouncy castle and said i should go on with her
so i asked Seth "would it embarrass you?" he said "no it will take a lot to embarrass me"
so i hopped on, and after a couple minutes i was out of breath!!!! i couldnt believe it
I used to be well good as a kid on em XD the artist who was paid to paint the day
painted us both on the bouncy castle, i have a photo to show later
the artist was very nice to me actually everyone there was nice :)
its taken me an extra 30mins to do this blog entry as we've just
had a power cut D:
anyway here are the photos from Manchester City on the Sunday
there's not many, I dont felt like we did a lot really
I met Rob's cousin Matthew he was very nice Id like to meet him again
and we ate at a place that only serves burgers, i had a chicken fillet burger
everything came with bacon on it tho, even the chips XD
the table had sweets under the glass top it was amazing!!!! i wanted it!!
I brought a dress, sailor style from this random store, its new and only £8
i about died, my style, new and only £8 and in my size!!! heaven~
look out for that bad boy in my dance covers~
We went round Aflex palace and a cool shop in China Town
I brought a few things, mainly things to do craft with :)
