Last night I had the best night's sleep like ever
I had had a massage at Karen's so I was feeling looser
I took a sleeping tablet
and mum came up with ingenious idea of lighting a candle oil burner and burning lavender oil
lavender is a calming scent
So I layed there and it didn't take long for sleep to come to me
I woke up a lil when mum came in to blow the candle out
but at that moment i realized how relaxed and pain free my body was
it was so loose, floppy, relaxed, still and felt fluid
i didnt want to move, i did want to cry tho
this is what a normal body feels like. i havent felt normal since i was 18
so ive forgotten what 'normal' feels like
why cant i just have that body, my life would be so move easier and happier
I could not wake this morning
i was fighting to wake up
but thats sleeping pills for you
i slept through the night and had a very vivid dream, i was guy actually
which isnt totally out of the norm for my dreams XD
This morning I did bugger all
i didnt feel like doing anything nor did i want to
so i read really and watched an episode of anime
Mum did me some lunch cus if it was up to me i was gonna skip
then we went out to a few shops and to donate some fabric and wool
to my old college, saw my old college teacher which was nice she looked well
and has had a child since ive been to college!! impressive
this is a different college from the one im studying my TA course
Mum then treated me to cake and earl grey tea whilst we were out ^^
I came home and went straight to bed and didnt get up til 5pm
depression is making me tired
i got up tho and made a lil container from fabric for mum she wanted
then thats been my fantastic day
im going into the city center tomorrow with mum
which will be alright, im gonna pick up another £5 hoodie and make it
unicorn themed for mia
here are my nails for this week
black cat inspired and my little finger is a mouse!
