I was shattered last night and slept pretty well
woke up at 8am
I had a few jobs to do in the morning and then at 10:30am
i went out the shops I picked up
some tights reduced to £1
This weird eye liner pencil which is like powder reduced to £2.20
4 pairs of pants 2 were £2 2 were £1
gotta love new pants i loooovee new pants
some shampoo, cleanser, facial wipes
I came back and had lunch with mum
adam texted me to say he'd finished work and was off to the phone shop for
a new phone upgrade
i told him i wasnt arsed and to go home afterwards and id come to him
i was in a mood
the moment i saw him
triggered a mood
not a pleasant one
i didnt want affection or to give affection i didnt want him touching me
adam on the other hand...
he'd not really seen me for a while
ok well last week we'd met up for 2 hours
the whole week and 2 hours
then it has been a whole week since those 2 hours (didnt realise it)
so he was like an excited puppy
all over me
and when i didnt want that it made a situation worse
i was moving away and pushing him off me
a small part of me knew that this behaviour was hurting him
but i couldnt stop myself i just didnt want it
he kept asking me "you alright?" "everything ok?"
i would simply reply "yes" "i'm fine"
eventually he put his foot down (rare occasion) and said
"youve got to stop keeping this to yourself i need to know whats going off in your mind"
man i so did not want to talk about it all i really didnt
so we hashed out what was wrong, whats been going off
i quizzed him asked him why he was still with me, surely this isnt nice for him, why does he put up with me, hes free to come back in a years time if he'd fed up with me
he assured me a 1000 times that he loved me, not going anywhere and he'd truly missed me
as lovely as that all was i still wouldnt shake off my mood
eventually my mood snapped and i felt better
and even adam said "i feel like ive got you back!"
i said "yeah i feel alright now"
like coming back from a dark hole
and i was fine, best id been all day
then i left for yoga
yoga was baking and i didnt want to go mum really did
so i went for her
but it was hot and i was starting to get annoyed at why id bother coming
but we did tone it down and i got into it more
and it was ok
came home and had beans on toast with mummy
tomorrow it's school
and its sports day to which i will ether be a part of or i will be doing jobs
im fine ether way i just want to get the job done and dusted
the head teacher is gonna give me feedback about my interview as well
which in a way im quite anxious about
cant cope with people being negative to me right now
my parents go away as well so im on pet duty
theyre off to derbyshire for the weekend
