Evening~~
I got up at 7am for my acupuncture appt at 8:30am
I got there ok and told him how my week had been
and gave me 9 needles all on my stomach
he says I need to accept myself more and not get annoyed or
stressed over aspects of my life that I cant control
easier said than done trust me
the needles felt disgusting
Got home and had some cereal which I didnt fancy earlier
then I got Oz all set for the vets
we travelled together I swear I was driving like an old lady XD
he was sooo good for the vets honestly bless him
basically theyve taken him off his anti-biotics
they said to try a different food as he could be allergic to the new
adult food I have been giving him. If he still continues to sneeze
then its hayfever!
hay fever!
can you believe that!? rabbits get hay fever!!
weird thats for sure
but if he gets worse then he needs anti-biotics but im hoping he will be fine
hay fever is only for a few months of the year
I brought him some treats to boost his immune system he seems to like them!
I got home and waited for mum to come home from work
I sat and told her whats happening
I was suppose to be seeing adam but I felt quite crap after my acupuncture
i fell asleep for 2 hours
and upon waking i felt so different
i felt like i wanted to give in and die to be honest
it was like all the thoughts couldnt make themselves heard quick enough
they were all there just saying everything and anything
i hated it. i felt mentally drained and sad to be honest
i was home alone too so i just laid there and i got a lil upset
it was everything
how i shouldnt be with adam that he'll get fed up of this crap
it'd be easier on everyone if i was alone
i'll never be normal
i dont wanna eat
what does self harm feel like?
i dont want to go to school anymore
should i jack my career in?
just what am i doing with myself
im fat my body is disgusting
just everything
it was exhausting
told adam i wasnt coming out
dont think he was that impressed
but i did it to protect him in a way cus i didnt want him seeing me like this
but also because i wouldnt be the best of company and i feared saying something
that would hurt him then i would be hurt
so i talked to mum and got upset
went to bed for mum to wake me for food she re-heated cus id missed eating with my family
since then ive applied for jobs and just been with Oz nothing special
got school tomorrow
I asked adam if he'd be here for me after school tomorrow
he seemed to think id asked him over so i could dump him?...
where'd he get that idea from? if theres dumping to be done its him doing to me cus he's had enough no way am i hurting him like that. i just wanted to see him so i told him that and think he's ok now. i think when im suffering i put him on edge a lil
dont want to go school tomorrow
i cant get over how those 9 needles effected me so much today
