Evening
I did some dance practice last night and got pretty far
but how much i can remember is yet to be seen!
I took a stronger dose of pain killer last night as I just didnt want to feel for a while
i went to bed but got up around 10pm for a wee cus
i was off my tits, my god was i high XD my usual medication has been hitting me hard
so stronger stuff really went to my head
it was great
i got up for school it was another minus morning
and another morning were Oz couldnt be bothered to sit with me
he just sat on the opposite end of the sofa
today marks the day that this time last year i started my job at school!
how time flies and how much have i learned! 0.0 my god
never thought id be doing a job like the one i have
but im happy here and its the longest ive stuck at one place too
I got to school just on time
i saw jack walk in with some female member of staff
i crossed the road and chris was there so i walked with him
and walked him to his office and stood chatting
he's brought a house for himself and his wife ^^
jack was txting me where i was so i walked down to the prep room
to my cage
i couldnt be bothered with him tho
he confessed to me he has no idea how to book a holiday
and i said to him "i havent asked you to book anything i just want you to look where you want to go and to do your damn passport"
i dont know what he thought i was asking of him
i feel, like always, im doing all the work anyway
he kept giving me bits of affection here and there but i didnt return it nor did i want it
not wanting it right now
not in the right frame of mind
chris came into the prep room office to sort jack's computer out
and jack was in the prep room so we could see and hear him
but i decided to talk to chris about my relationship
how i wish jack would try harder and the fact that every time he says "ill try harder" and just doesnt is starting to hurt.
i found out his wife is born a day before me X3 how strange
i saw the fish dissection which was interesting to see
i saw the gills which wasnt what i thought theyd look like
i cleaned up as soon as the lesson was over and took the fish heads to the outdoor bin
no way was i letting it stink the prep room out
got it twice tomorrow tho
i handled the day better than yesterday tho
chris txted me when i got home as said he was surprised i confided everything i did to him and the fact that jack was right there. but i said it was nothing i hadnt really told jack before besides he was probably oblivious to it
i said i just dont know what more i can do
he txted back saying "he needs a guy talk, thats what im getting from this. i need to take him for a drink after school"
i said "im not sure whats involved with a guy talk"
he said "its a slap on the arse and a direct 'fucking sort it out or shes gone'
i said thats exactly what he needs i think
i dont want to get anyone involved with this as it is for me and jack to work at
but to be honest that could actually help
as im getting a bit low with how little effort he makes at times
i chose to talk to chris cus i wanted the male perspective as my friends just seem to take my side on it and slag off their male counter parts.
we shall see
tomorrow im suppose to stay over at jacks
but i dont want to
i dont want his affection and also its gonna be freezing over at his flat
so im gonna stay home he doesnt know it yet tho
he asked me today "are you staying over tomorrow?" i said "dont know yet"
but all of today hes treated it like i am staying over by talking plans and dinner
but i never actually said i was staying
i'll tell him ether tonight or in the morning
tomorrow just another day at work really
2 fish dissections, potato practical, and other fun stuff im sure
