Last night was terrible
I was in so much pain that I was just weeping
I wasnt even actually crying just had tears leaking down my face
It was horrific I was just hurting so much
and then suddenly the penny dropped
i had binged on sugar...yup I had had a mega sugar fix yesterday
and I have began to notice that a lot sugar = awful pain
so at 11:30pm I vowed in my bed that I would stop having binges on sugar
and I would cut my daily in take
so today has been cold turkey and it has sucked big time!!!
cereal i snack on all day long seriously i do i love it
i keep cereal in business XD
so thats got to stop but for the record i dont eat sugary cereal
theres far worse and sinful on the market trust me!
but cereal will have to remain just for breakfast
i have cut my sugar in my tea to 1/2 tea spoon sugar
cutting out cakes, biscuits, chocolates all that
jesus its like going on a diet!!!! trouble is i dont even like crisps or pastries
to enjoy instead of sugar so life sucks
but after last night i just couldnt bare to do it to my self its not worth it
its really not, its pain i could prevent and to say i spend EVERY SINGLE DAY
in pain and i could prevent pain then im gonna do it!
its like drinking and having a hangover
and my hangover isnt worth it
today has been hard
i have not once gone for cereal i have had 2 cups of tea, a hot chocolate and a biscuit
so for day 1 thats not too criminal
but i will keep improving
the biscuit and hot chocolate were small tho for the record!
anyway enough about sugar its making me want a cereal fix
miss cereal all ready T^T
i had work today and i felt better about it today
i just got on with it really and finished at 12pm
there was cake in the staff room and usually when this happens i usually think
"oh my god free cake!!!" but today i saw it and thought straight back to myself weeping in pain in bed last night and so it repelled me from eating any
I came home and felt quite tired but made myself a salad and put girls out
i went for a half hour walk by myself
came home and showered
then just relaxed as best i could i played a whole 50mins on my DS!!
thats good for me trust me usually after 10mins ive had enough
I went to Nigel's for some acupuncture that mum MADE me go to >.>
didnt wanna go
i mean nigel is great needles on the other hand...
so i said to him
"smallest needles are needed today nigel"
he said "so the 0.06 thickness?"
"theryre the ones"
upon lying down he started putting them in and said
"these are the 0.21 needles"
"thats not what we agreed"
"yes but the 0.06 ones are too short"
"thats not problem" yes i challenge him i think XD
later he gave me massage and i didnt know massages could be so damn painful
but i can take pain i just endure it as ever since my illness i know that an extra pain will go very shortly unlike my persistent pain
so he was really pulling down with his thumb in my shoulder (yes its as painful as it sounds) and i eventually said "i dont think its gonna break"
he sniggered "im not trying to break it"
then he had his knee cap in my back bone and was pulling me back onto it by my shoulders and i said "i can be pulled more test me test me"
he laughed and said "this is certainly flexible" but didnt test me boooooo
I left feeling looser
and he has learned a new massage type but not qualified but feels id benefit as its a massage to help the nervous system which is a big issue with me its basically because of my nervous system that im in constant pain. he asked if i would be his guinea pig
so i agreed and booked in with him for wednesday
he then said "it could give you headaches and make you feel achy"
i said "you tell me this now after ive booked in with you and agreed to have it! thats not on!"
i dont mind nigel i can have a laugh with him now hes got used to me
ive had 27 sessions!! hes spent 27 hours with me!! more than a whole day!
this evening i am with my Ozwald
we are gonna watch anime which i have been doing with him past few days
and it has been such a long time since i have watched anime
i really got out of watching it
so lately its been Houseki no Kuni
quite into it actually found a trailer randomly on youtube and decided to give anime another go
i was getting so disappointed by anime that i stopped watching it
then im gonna do my nails
here was this weeks or last weeks...i forget
tomorrow I am seeing adam as per usual on a saturday
