Tadaima~
I am home from jack's
I went over thursday night after putting Ozwald to bed
I've had a good time :) think it is doing me good and like stabilising me by getting out
so thursday i went over and we didnt do a lot at it was 8:45pm by the time I got over
i did help him by putting his new mattress cover on ^^ god the difference those 2 inches of feathers have made...wish he'd got one ages ago
we played on switches in bed which was nice
i tried to sleep but woke up aching and it wasnt the best of nights
but that was my fault not the bed, i was just over sensitive
in the morning it was hard to get jack out of bed, he was so warm an comfy
damn him
i got up and pounced on him til he got up
we didnt do a lot that day, we did a big walk of the canal and things and spent time with theo
we cooked pulled pork for dinner
jack had got his D&D online that night starting at 6pm
so i said to theo did he want to watch a film with me whilst jack was off nerding it out
so thats what we did
he put on i think it was called '21 jump street' typical guy film but made me laugh and i was grateful to have the company to be honest
then we sat playing on switches on the sofa
i had served up pulled pork cobs and delivered them to jack and i cleared and washed up
what a good service is that
he said he's be done at 10pm, it got to 10:30pm and i was like "what the hell is he doing?"
he ran over and i was like shattered and wanted to go bed
he came to us shortly afterwards and apologised for over running
i just wanted to go to bed
but i couldnt sleep
jack already woke me up as i was scratching and moving around a lot
i woke up and my skin felt raw and i felt annoyed - god knows what i was dreaming
so i got up cus i knew i couldnt sleep like that
i left jack in bed
i went upstairs and played on my switch and stretched out a bit and it was like 4am
i came to bed, i was crying, i was tired and felt it was so unfair that i couldnt even sleep next to my boyfriend in bed, i crawled to bed and jack kinda stirred and i asked for some covers and he gave me some and held his arm up inviting me to come cuddle him
i cuddled him and i was crying on his chest - bare chest i will add
he just held me and i thought "is he awake? is he awake and not arsed? but how has he given me covers and cuddled me?" i fell asleep at whatever time
in the morning i felt like death and really woke up on the wrong side of the bed
i was in such a mental mood
proper sucked into myself
i couldnt and didnt want to talk about how i felt
i got up straight away as i was aching badly from the bad night
i woke jack up and he asked for 5 more minutes - as usual
so i gave him 5mins then he asked for long - i gave him 30mins and at this point i took my tablets as i didnt want breakfast or to eat
i went down again and woke him, he asked for 5 more mins i said "jack ive been waiting an hour now" he swore and decided to get up, not realising that i had been waiting that long
he said i could have eaten without him
i didnt want food
and he soon caught on that i was in a bad mood
he was worried it was him
it wasnt it was me
and cus i wouldnt talk i could tell it was bothering and concerning him
so i said to him "i need out jack i need to get out and walk"
he got up and brushed his teeth, dressed, and put his shoes on and we went for a walk
i needed it and i talked that i was just feeling off and had a bad night
cus even when i had gotten to sleep i had had nightmares
i said "did you not feel me crying on your chest?"
his face dropped "no! you should have woke me! please promise me that next time you will wake me" so i pinky promised
we came back to the flat and i did feel better i kinda snapped out my mood and was able to face breakfast.
later on we went for a walk just the two of us down the canal as it was dead sunny and brought a cold drink and sat and drank it on a bench which was nice
we baked cookies we made soup we did a lot
he also introduced me to painting warhammer - something i never ever thought id do
i knew it looked hard but it has given me a new appreciation of it
my god its hard!
i didnt finish mine i lost interest, painting a small elf in a colour scheme i didnt like didnt do much for me as it turns out XD
but i liked his paintbrushes sad as it sounds
that night theo was playing against harvey online on this sad village game, i could tell jack wanted to join in so i said why didnt he play and i could do some drawing
so the 3 of us sat on laptops in the living room probably looking like serious geeks
i put my ipod on and blasted them out theres only so much nerd stuff i can take
it hit 11pm and i could no longer look at a screen and hold concentration
so i told him i was calling it a night
he said "ill do one more game"
i said "sure ill play on my switch in bed"
he had told me earlier games could take an hour but i let him get on with it
i played disgaea in bed with flump enjoying the peace
it got to midnight and still no jack
so i thought "sod this crap" left the lamp on for him and cuddled flump
i fell asleep as it turned out before jack got to bed
and i slept through!
i think i was just shattered
jack said he came to bed not too long after midnight i said he was neglecting me XD
he said i had lost flump in the night and was feeling around in my sleep for him
jack said i had grabbed his arm, stroked his beard and said his name in my sleep
i said "yeah right! youre lying, like id do that!"
he said "no jo you actually did, it was very cute"
damn it!!!!!!!!!! i need to get a grip in my sleep but he said i turned over and found flump
so today we went for a walk and as usual theo joined us, its nice we all get on so well and none us feel left out or awkward
they painted models i played on my switch as i had lost interest
we ate leftovers
and not much else really pretty relaxed day
i came home at dinner time tho as i wanted to see my Ozwald
mum had been so good with him
i sat on the sofa with him
then mum brought the girls to me
Oz didnt know which to lick, me or the girls XD so he licked all of us XD very cute
he has missed me
im gonna go see him now
i still havent got anywhere with my phone
dad has decided to write a letter - yes a letter (what year is it?) - to head office
but i cant see him getting anywhere with that
just luckily right now i dont 'need' my phone
tomorrow not sure what i will do as of yet
feel like going on a diet im always conscious of my body and food and i hate the way i feel and look so i might weigh myself and assess the damage -___-
