Evening
Ah I didnt get time to do my diary yesterday ><
But I started my day by searching for £1000 in 50 pound notes that my dad had given to me to give to the electrician. Could I find them? I was starting to feel sick. My dad had handed them to me when we had just come in from being turned away from the covid jab so my mind was not in the right place when they were handed to me!!!!! Jack helped and in the end chilled out playing pokemon before school - he doesnt usually do this - shows how much I had stressed him out. I got on with yoga, just as we were leaving for school I saw something under the tissue box in the kitchen....yup a wad of cash
THANK GOD 0.0
so that was me crippled with anxiety, all the way home from taking Jack to work. I called in at mum's on the way home as I needed chilling out and felt I would probably only go home to pace.
I had a cup of tea with her then she went to work
I took some boxes home with me but I wasn't very settled at home I was still stressed out so in the end I went to sleep to escape all thought. So I can tell I still aint right in the head
I woke up and started transferring stuff from my old knackered boxes to my new ones
Then had lunch then I thought I would start on the draw I brought over from mum's and realised I need a chest of drawers to put stuff in T^T mum rang me at this point and I was grouchy with her as my plans had not gone right. She convinced me to go out for a walk with her XD
which worked out well actually as Jack txt to say Chris was dropping him and that he was gonna come in for a cup of tea which is great but would give me no time to work out. So worked out well as then I would have done a walk and yoga in the morning
mum left just before Jack and chris arrived. It was good to see someone from school in a way
I started running a bath whilst chris was here tho as we needed to get off to harveys soon
chris left and then I was in the bath, Jack had the bath after me. He then started running something by me about school cus he needed to and I wanted him to. However it did my stomach literally flip over. And when he talked about progressing his career and one day leaving I wanted to cry so he stopped there 0.0 yeah Jo is not able to cope with that right now, which made Jack feel awful. But he needed to talk to me about these things as he needed to arrange a meeting but wanted to talk to me about it first.
we set off for harveys it was just us 4 and the guys had wagamama's I had left overs which I enjoyed
then we had Kaspers for dessert, I ordered a waffle like the guys did. mine had white chocolate, fudge and oreo on it. It comes with a little pot of whipped vanilla ice cream. When it arrived, at first I had written the ice cream off as i knew I wouldnt have room for that and the waffle and wasnt holding out a lot for it's quality but I thought I would try it as its been months since I have had ice cream. It was so nice!!!! I then pinched a bit of my waffle toppings and ate it with the ice cream and I actually really enjoyed this! It was nice without being too sweet and sickly or heavy. I had a spoon of jack's waffle and it felt heavy. I knew what sort of feeling that waffle would give my stomach. So I finished my ice cream and told Jack I didnt want to eat my waffle. He said "its fine we will take it home" I didnt want to push my luck with food and I could hear food thoughts starting up too
we stayed til 9:30pm but my god did i need pain killers as harvey's living room seats are hard, no padding, outdoor seats T^T
we got home and I wanted drugs pure and simple. We had Oz in for 15mins he couldnt want to do toilet on his clean blanket at 10pm -_______-
then we went to bed, told Jack I was having food thoughts, he was like "it was a small pot of ice cream, you will be fine (weight wise)" I said "believe me, I KNOW" T^T doesnt stop the thoughts happening.
It took a long time for me to sleep even tho I had taken a sleeping tablet
today
I dropped Jack off for work and came back to find the electrician and his son outside.
so I had them in the study and craft room - where i wanted to be. plus the electric + internet was turned off. I literally couldnt do a damn thing. So i curled up on the sofa
they finished tho around 11am ^^ they even hung two new lights up for me which was nice of them. I paid them and they said they would help with any future electrics
I sorted out my boxes and then had lunch, then had Oz in, he 'helped' me sort out more boxes and then i booted him out. Mum came over at 2:30pm we had a cup of tea and she brought me food too ^^ Jack came home at 4pm and then mummy left. I spoke with Jack about school he said on monday I have got to have a meeting with head of science about my absence ><
we had dinner and cleared up and Jack has gone to play D&D, he said he can skip if I wanted but I wanted him to enjoy himself after a hard week at work
I won a pair of drawers on ebay, which I am hoping I can collect tomorrow!
I need to do some exercise tonight, not even used my new weights yet!!
tomorrow
I have a hair cut at 9:30am then taking Jack to munchies for breakfast takeaway then hopefully collecting my drawers!
not sure what else will happen. I would like a few things drillings but see how Jack is first
