Well last night I was getting texts from adam like
"i want to be with you"
"i cant imagine being with anyone else"
"no one will compare to you"
"im never gonna get over you"
"i thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with you"
"i still love you"
im not sure what he hoped to achieve by sending these texts
I just said to him he'd get over me eventually
he then said
"I will go to the travel agent and ask for separate beds"
i said "dont worry im cool with sharing but do as you wish"
im not arsed ether way, shared beds with guys before
just cus you share a bed with the opposite gender doesnt mean your gonna
jump each other's bones
at 9pm he said night, which I took as he didnt want to talk to me anymore that day
I watched Task Master and had a good laugh watching that
I woke up early again wondering if my phone was gonna ring
it didnt
I weighed myself this morning as 2 pairs of joggers have been slipping down
my arse so i wondered if it was them or me
it was in fact me
but what confused me was that I''ve put weight on
in the last year i have put a stone on
DOES NOT SIT WELL WITH ME!!!
so thats it now
diet
i hate the way i look anyway i hate the way my body feels now
its in the 9stone section not the 8
so id like to lose half a stone if i can which is 6lb i believe
fed up
and my high sugar diet needs to stop
i have noticed ive eaten A LOT of sugar over the weeks
to the point where i wonder if i am addicted
need to detox
but how is it i put weight on anyway?
i dont eat crisps, chocolate, fatty food, take away, alcohol
i exercise EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY for at least half hour
so how do i put weight on?
it doesnt seem fair
and i almost think 'sod it ill eat what i want if i only gain weight anyway'
hate my body really do
so ive told mum im cutting down portion sizes and cutting down sugar
no need to increase exercise as i know i do enough
fed up! want change now!
hate my body
Did 25mins of dancing i was dripping
did some skipping
so I finished a drawing i was doing over the weeks
nothing amazing if im honest and will probably get edited as i go along
but done for now at least
did some Japanese as I did none yesterday
tidied up downstairs
I went on the wii for the first time
went on Just Dance 2 and enjoyed it
mum watched a bit i told her she could play too
she seems to think shes too uncooridinated but i was like
"look how bad i am!"
im gonna keep playing on it tho its so much fun
yet to do a dance by a male singer
so used to dancing to female singers that male feels weird
I went to the chiropractor
that was probably the worst session yet
i told her my feet face forward now and that i went running twice
she pulled my legs outwards whilst laying down and my knee caps were popping
its so disgusting the noise and the feel
she wasnt even cracking that joint she was testing flexibility and strength
she worked on that so my feet continue to face forward
i told her two symmetrical areas on the front of my shoulders kinda where
the shoulder meets the socket and those two point hurt the most on my whole body
and have done for years,, not even massage relieves them
i told her id like some help with them
shouldnt have said that
jesus the pain
she poked them and i HATE them touched
but im fine with pain and didnt wince
she said, whilst she had her thumb in it, "does it hurt when I touched them?"
i said "well it hurts when you have your thumb stuck in it"
she chuckled saying "wow you said that so calmly"
im good with pain
she was surprised at how much she could get my joints to click
areas that people mostly get 1 click i get like 4
dont have to go for another 2 weeks now and i have shoulder stretches to do daily
and now i hurt big style and knees feel horrible where they kept popping out of place
its all helping tho
tonight I am going to the Arena in the city centre to see a show
with parents and brother
only my brother has been to a show before
so its a new one for the rest of us
we're gonna go see a comedy that used to be on TV called Early Doors
it was something my parents introduced me to
and when we saw them doing a live tour we thought we''d give it ago
all the years the arena has been there and never seen a show as there hasnt been one we'd like to see and none of us are into concerts.
it starts at 7:30pm
we're having a quick oven pizza before we leave
we are towards the back on the seating but next to an aisle so i can get out if i need to
to stretch and stuff.
should be good it finishes 9:45pm
im really looking forward to it :D
not a cheap night out so it best be good
speaking of money
i will tell you what makes me sick
this week in the post i got two things to pay out for
my DBS check (to show im not a sex offender)
and my new driving license
driving licenses are photo ID and run out after 10 years
so year almost had mine 10 years!
DBS is £17 and License is £14
absoultely sickening considering i am getting nothing from that
does make me sick
I need a job i need money!
tomorrow
I have psychology appointment at 9:30am
woohoo -__________-
then Im gonna come home and go back out again as I have
Santa Elf Interview at 11:30am
not nervous I just want to know if I can have the job or not XD
got my outfit and documents ready
just wanna get it done!
sure I will be nervous when Im there
but I will be myself~
ive had that many interviews now I should be pro XD
wish me luck
ganbarimasu~
Oh and here is the folder I got for A5 30 min doodles I do
theres 60 wallets and Ive done 38 pieces so far
im glad to see them neatly together
even tho theyre rubbish and depressive i still feel the need to keep and do them
its 5:10pm
not heard from adam all day...
its quite odd
but im fine giving him space
