Evening
So last night I was feeling vulnerable to my thoughts, Jack was gaming and I didnt want to bother him again so I went outside to Oz and I rang my mum for half hour whilst fussing Ozwald outside. It was good to talk to her, held back the tears a few times. Just very fragile yeseterday
I stayed out a further 15mins with Oz, I couldnt have him in as he had been playing where we had been digging up the earth therefor he had paws caked with mud, there was no way I was bringing him in!
So I put him home with his treat, came inside and literally 5mins later tears flowed steadily down my face. I didnt want to be alone so I went to get Jack who immediately left his game with Harvey and Theo when he saw I was upset. He cuddled me on the sofa and we sat watching Inuyasha with hot chocolate
I was ok but got to bed and tears flowed again. Honestly poor Jack had a wet shirt by the end of it!
I was laying there worrying about the night, thinking id just take more pain killers - not normally an issue I just blank my feelings and get on with it, whereas last night I was hating the fact I was on medication, needing medication, hating my life etc
He cuddled me and we kinda drifted off to sleep like that
I woke up at 1am for a wee but slept from there
We had an easy morning and set off at 9:30am to Jack's mum's for his sisters birthday
I drove, got stressed due to road closers so therefor I had no idea where the hell I was going!!! But we got there and I was aching like mad. I ache big style from pulling that tree up yesterday T^T
We stayed for almost 3 hours, we had tea and cake and his sister really liked the card I did for her and her present of korean snacks - which was my idea ^^
We came home for lunch then I went to lay down for an hour as I felt like crying I was in that much pain. When I woke up I went outside to help Jack. we have cleared more land. I went to the centre of our garden where there is a tree stump long long dead and some plants and a hella lot of weeds. I got the tree stump up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it took minutes as well much to my surprise as I thought it would have mega roots. It is dead but has the circumference of a dinner plate so I was pleased with that. Jack told me to stop at this point
I am now struggling to bend up and down and my muscles and joints hurt. I have truly overdone it ^^; I should leave these things alone but I want to help Jack and I want to do the garden ><
We came in and I ran a very hot bath, felt dizzy XD but it was good and then I sat with the massager and did some what revive me.
I did the dinner which was a slightly different pasta dish.
Then I had a quick 10mins on the bed, got up and did some more on my digital drawing
getting there.
I wanted to varnish my drawers but its still wet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh
Tomorrow
for the next 3 days we have got to go to Jack's mum's to go let the rabbits out and feed the cat whilst theyre away so that will be a bit of chore but we've tried to think of things to do
so tomorrow we were gonna go for a 7mile walk round Jack's mum's but its not a good forecast so that may be wednesday and tomorrow we just do the shops round his mum's. We shall see.
