Evening
I was so tired when I got up
it was hard facing another cold shower and cold house
but i got on with it
telling mum i wasnt feeling that good but hoped i could see the day through
got to school
and no one talked about the bowling and meal evening i missed in front of me
head of science said it was sad id missed it but maybe i can go next time
i didnt feel well really
and i know i looked deathly
by 10am i made the decision to go home
i got a bit teary but it was out of frustration
i feel like ive missed out on everything lately and everything is getting taken away from me
i told jack life isnt fair
i felt shaky, dizzy, exhausted and sick
i wasnt good
and i thought when i come to smelling those rats i will be sick
so i went home
i was in my bed at 10:40am
and thats where i stayed til 6pm
i had cheese on toast for lunch other than that i just fell in and out of sleep
getting up at 6:30pm to do dinner for me and mum
as she went to christmas yoga
so that made all 3 of my christmas events gone from me
i had missed them all
dad had a go at me about my diet cus of course his logic is always correct
so i argued that back
cus thats what i felt like doing after spending the day in bed - an argument
but he couldnt care less
asked if i was going school tomorrow
how the hell should i know!!? course id like to bloody go
im going anyway whether i not i make the whole day remains to be seen
jesus
had a shower and plaited my hair
so im not showering in the morning
i get an extra half hour in bed tomorrow cus of not showering
im only at school til like 1pm so i can shower when i get home
having christmas dinner at school tomorrow for free
its christmas jumper day so im borrowing mums as i dont have one
it might drown me a bit tho
but still im going and i want to finish the day
fed up of feeling so crap
not done any exercise today just cus i havent been able to
