I managed to do some Japanese last night ^^
I watched Peter Kay last night til 9:30pm then went promptly to bed
was shattered
didnt sleep well, woke up at 2:30am for a huge wee XD then I woke up at 5am
then dosed til 6am so yeah been awake for quite a while
just not sleeping well really
lot on my mind and i wasnt really looking forward to school
i was moaning that i wasnt sure the job was right for me
Got up for school at 6:45am
had plenty of time this morning and had time to get pigs out whereas mum had
to be left with that yesterday morning
traffic was quite bad this morning compared to yesterday tho
got to school and i saw someone from school walking to school i walked with them and they said they were a TA for year 6 and that i should join everyone from main school at lunch
I was in reception class again for the morning
then at lunch I was given a proper lanyard and the fob to the doors so i dont have to keep asking people to open doors for me
i sat with people from the early years team and someone brought cookies in ^^
so i was glad i didnt go to the main staffroom theres like no seats in there anyway
would have missed the cookies
i went towards the end of lunch and copied a henna design picture onto paper and the teacher saw and was amazed and found where my talents lie
no one had thought to ask me what i enjoy in life XD
after lunch i was with the other reception class which was ok a lot of speach and language difficulty in that class
the lady im kinda taking the role of sat down with me and told me her role and showed me time tables and work she does
jesus its a lot
i have so much to take on board
heck she gave me a whole booklet just with songs in! so much to learn
she says she will take me to do some of the one to one groups she does so i can learn and watch from her basically, shes lovely and a similar age
at the end of the day i was given a diary as apparently i need one
i also spoke to the teachers saying how low i felt yesterday overwhelmed i was with it all
they said they dont want me to be stressed, i have plenty of time to learn stuff, theyre grateful of the help, it will come naturally soon, take each day at a time
its because i expect so much of myself i like to get things right and work hard and last night i felt i wasnt good enough and that i would never get everything right
but today i came away feeling a bit better than yesterday that i will get there and i will enjoy it
some kids still pee me off but id get that with any school any class any year group
theyre just needy and sometimes it grates on me
i hope i get there
when i got in mum kindly made me a brew
then i danced for a bit just cus i needed to really got sweaty
ive eaten so much past few days so i have a lot to burn off
hate myself each and everyday
food thoughts dont stop
but i have no self control lately i see food and i eat it
its not helping the anorexic thoughts
im not even hungry but i eat
need to stop this behaviour as its only giving me stomach ache
i did a tiny bit of sewing
just sewing on reflective fabric onto my running club hoodie ready for tomorrow
as i plan on going tomorrow
think i will go for a walk in a bit with mum then shower then Oz
feel not too bad about going school tomorrow
hope i sleep better tho
i have surprised people with my energy levels
cus of how much sugar ive had last few days tho i think
and the sheer amount ive eaten
my nails this week which ive had a lot of comments about
