Yesterday I went to work
did 4 hours
it went ok, I got the displays done in the prep room so its all fresh for september
jack was with me and it didnt feel too bad working
afterwards we went to pain clinic
my god i did not want to be there
my usual therapist called me through and she was with a nurse
i talked about how things were and stuff
and both she and the nurse recommended i ditch my pain tablets
i have exhausted all avenues of medication basically
and they dont want me back on morphine at my age
so they said to cut it out as its obviously doing more harm than good
i went into panic as they were taking away something ive had for 9 years
that 1/3 of my life ive spent taking some sort of pain relief
and they were not going to replace it with anything....
so we talked about weening me off it and stuff as its got to be done gradually
i want to be off my medication but i always figured it would be done
under my terms and when i felt ready, not someone taking it from me
so yeah i have that to go through
also when i go back to work i am not allowed to sleep when i come home....
that is gonna be hard
life is gonna suck so badly
im gonna be at work, tired and in withdrawal
my god how will i get through it
as a way of saying thank you for coming with me
i gave or sent jack a photo of me, hes wanted to see pictures of my past for ages now
so i sent him this one
cus its me with short hair
i got him and theo to guess my age they both joked saying "it was taken last week right?"
i was like "im 18 there!!"
they were like "jo you dont seem to age"
vampire~~
we went back to jack's after that
and theo was there
we all went food shopping
we got pick and mix ^^
in the evening me and jack made a monster of a dinner
it was loaf tin inside was layered bacon, mashed sweet potato, baked beans, cheese
jesus it was good
i didnt sleep that good jack's bed isnt comfortable really
then today pretty much done bugger all
i had a bath, a very hot bath i was a bit pink afterwards and could strongly feel my pulse afterwards so i sat down then i got changed and went to bed
i came home and didnt do a lot i was just tired and drained today
i went for a walk in the evening tho
tomorrow i plan to sew my jacket
i want to work on it
but in the morning i have the house to myself so i plan to dance!
looking forward to it actually
i might start another dance maybe
