Evening
ahhhhh i couldnt sleep >.> Jack didnt go on his phone or play longer on his switch. When he turns his switch off the same time as me and calls it a night, I struggle to sleep cus he falls asleep instantly and he breathes annoyingly so I struggle to sleep and struggle to resist the temptation to smother him in his sleep. So I was up til midnight.
We both woke up at 9:30am
I mean my excuse is i got my 9 hours of needed sleep
Jack had like 11 hours of sleep!! whats his excuse!? jesus. He said he felt better for it and didnt realise he needed the sleep.
So this morning once we were up and ready, we tackled the radiator...
and thats were we were for 2 hours none stop
it was A LOT
It was going well, it was slow and time consuming as we are winging it, and taking our time so we dont screw up. We patched up the big wall fissure that the ants had been using to get into our house. We put the radiator back onto the wall once the crack had been patched up, Jack went to screw it back to the pipes and thats when problems happened
it didnt appreciate being disturbed. it leaked. And when taking it off the wall again to drain it again so he could clog the inner pipe, black water would come out. We have new carpets. we do no want black water on it. So he gave him trying to remove it and tried to make a seal on the outside of the pipe instead. But it kept leaking still.
during the whole thing I wasnt sure if I was gonna
faint
big sick
or empty my bowels
yes thats how I felt
I was stressed. My stomach knotted
he put sealant round the pipe but it dripped, slower. He said he will layer up the sealant and eventually it would stop
I was so drained. I had been running round like a blue arse fly collecting stuff for Jack and cleaning up and stopping water flow. I was to be his errand girl I knew that as that was literally the only thing I was good for. But doing it for 2 hours whilst being stressed out was exhausting and I was reaching my limit
we left the sealant to dry with a drip tray underneath and made lunch
My mum txt to say she was coming at 2pm to come see me, drop my car off and to talk to us about the car
so as soon as I had lunch I started doing my meal plans for next week and the shopping list then mummy turned up. I made us both a tea, I spilt tea on the carpet and knocked over my flower vase so water went over my carpet. She helped me clean it up. I said "can you tell I am tired and done?"
she said
the car is dead. It cant be fixed unless we want to change the gearbox for £2000 which is about the value of the damn car. So basically I have a scrap car that I have got to pay £60 for after today.
Dad has a car that I can test drive ASAP
then I have to
sell my car
SORN my car off the road
TAX my new car
Insure my new car
at this point I cried
I had reached my limit of what I could handle in one day
with this mornings stress + the thought of my car (i love) being scrap, paying out for new car AND doing the admin for it on top.
yep I cracked and had a cry on the carpet in front of mum and Jack like a child
but they both assured me that they will help me through it and I wont be left with it. Mum said to not test drive the car today as I clearly wasnt up for it. So she said she would go with me and Jack tomorrow morning to test drive, providing dad is there at his work place for me to test drive it.
she left as she could see I was done
I went to my bed and Jack came in, I cuddled him and shed a few more tears. I knew it was just cus I was tired and overstressed. My stomach was in knots and I was just exhausted
I picked myself up and went to go draw a bit more on my canvas. I then went to do this diary post and then I will do dinner, I have fish soup out the freezer that I cant say I am looking forward to.
I will have a bath then I think I will do some yoga or I might do yoga first, I will see how I feel.
so tomorrow
I will go with mum and Jack to go test drive our potential new car. then me and mum might go do something I am not quite sure yet. See how the day goes.
I cant wait for sleep
