Evening
I slept last night, but before bed I was restless and didnt feel happy
god knows why tho. I was playing Disgaea til 10:30pm and felt like I could play more
I had violent dreams again...
this morning my stomach was twisted with anxiety, god knows why
whats wrong with me lately!? I should be happier and more relaxed on holidays but my mental health is not good this holiday
I didnt know what I felt like doing this morning but Jack asked if we could go hobby craft so I thought if I went it would snap me out of the funk I was in, but I couldnt be bothered to leave the house if I am honest. Whilst we were down there I picked up a few bits and my mum has been after a 250ml jug for a while as hers broke and she uses it to wash the girls. I thought we would check the Range whilst we were there for one as yup they had one! I was so excited as I knew my mum would be so happy shes been looking like everywhere!!
We got back and I felt quite done in, it was hurting me to walk a bit and I just felt exhausted. I felt much better yesterday....Mummy came to see me after she had finished at Maureen's. She came in and I surprised her with the jug, she was soooooo happy. Overly so, over a jug XD she had a cup of tea and stayed til midday. When she left we had lunch
after lunch I just curled up in my bed for 2 odd hours. Just was so tired but couldnt sleep. Didnt want any stimulation or anything. Just quiet nothingness
I got up and looked poorly. I was so clammy and white.
whats wrong with me!?
sick of feeling so crap and wasting so much time by recovering in sodding bed.
im wondering if it's my depression maybe? as depression can make you feel like all this
did literally nothing all afternoon, nothing
I didnt even put the buns out again from this morning as I couldnt face rounding them up. We also have to wear protection as Skyler growls and tries to rip your vein out your wrist.....
we had dinner and after dinner Oz quickly latched on without any grunt warning and bit me whilst mating with my hand, I pulled his head away but he wouldnt let go of my skin between his teeth, it made the pain worse so I had to let him get on with it. Sure his jaw locks like a staffordshire >.> he hasnt done it in days. Thought we were making progress....
the weather has been bloody awful all day, really hard bitter wind and rain.
We were gonna go out today and I am so glad we didnt! what with the weather and how I am feeling
tomorrow tho
I am hoping to go Sherwood Pines with my Jack, have a walk round then a picnic. Just hope its not soaking everywhere. But I would like to actually go out with him as its been a long time.
