I had another bad night
literally pain sank in at 9:50pm
I had ages to wait til I could go downstairs!
It was torture laying there waiting til everyone had gone to bed at 11:15pm
hate my life
I felt like crying I just couldnt get relief
I was on my bedroom floor stretching out as I was just in agony
my skin is healing tho! Im making a real effort not to scratch myself
I scratch out of habit as I do it to focus on that new pain instead of my daily
agony pain. I would never go as far as self harm
i mean yes sometimes i do scratch til i draw blood but its never much
not compared to cutting myself
i tend to freak when i bleed. when others bleed im fine but not when i bleed
which means im guaranteed to not self harm
i have thought about it one or two times but yeah then i remember blood
and i forget it XD
i did get to sleep at 1ish and got up at 8:30am
I had an easy morning i didnt do a great deal
I did get this in the post, its new from ebay for £7 complete bargain
i mean its a few sizes too big but sometimes i want big baggy and loose
cute huh and has cat ears, neko mimi!
I got ready to go to Nigels
i was fine about going
he gave me my second treatment of bowen massage
hurt more this time round as hes on his second practice XD
so he can get his thumb and finger in deeper jesus it hurt in my neck
not much meat on a neck well not on mine anyway
he said the pain shouldnt be as bad as it was after my first session
and it turns out it isnt
afterwards i went home and had lunch with mum
then we went to a few shops just to pick up odds and sods really
we called into a pub for a hot chocolate which was nice
then we came home
i went and worked on her mother's day gift and i got all the machine
sewing i needed to get done
just got the hand sewing to do and its done!
we went to yoga
and we were separate from one another i was at the front next to karen
ugh i was not looking forward to it as she seemed too pleased to have me that close
but it turns out when im not next to mum im more focused and i did really well actually
it was slower this week but still i did do really well and im pleased with that
i said to mum i might go at the front by myself next week and see what happens
i liked that focus
and the yoga has helped eased the pain caused from nigel's massage
ive been called up by the agency with work
had so much work as of late which im totally grateful for
its just bloody hard with pain and not sleeping
tomorrow mummy and daddy go away T^T
i will miss them well i will miss mum anyway
they come back sunday
just going derbyshire
so i have work in the morning til lunchtime so i wont get to see mummy much
before she sets off but i will be fine
so just work tomorrow then anything else i wanna do
