I slept alright
i got a phone call for work today
typically
a day i cant do and i get a phone call!
someone out there likes screwing me over it seems
I got ready in the morning to go school and sign some paper work
the staff in the reception were all lovely
and i saw the head teacher briefly and thanked her
i had to fill an online form about my address and such
then i had to do my medical one...
i listed i had depression and see a psychologist
i kinda thought just in case, mentally, i find the job hard
physically i didnt bother listing my issues as i didnt feel the need
i had to list my medication as well
i told the lady that i will need to leave half an hour earlier one day starting
as i have a psychology appointment to go to and she was fine with that
but i felt bad for already asking for time off!
i asked to be shown round the school which is huge
truly a big school
with 2 of each class that racks the total number of students up to 450
its a lot and its big and a lot to get used to
i felt a bit overwhelmed with it all
i came home and i felt too churned up inside to eat anything so i didnt have lunch
mum came home and i sat and told her about my morning
told her how theyve applied for a council card for me
that i will have to pick up from a council building
and that i havent got my contract yet that will happen in a few weeks
and how everyone is nice and i will be teacher in the lower key stage of the school
so that will be ether ages 4 to 7
so at least i know i will be able to do the work
and i get paid roughly what i am being paid now
its til easter then they will have a review but she said that she can see my placement
being extended
a lot of information to take in i told mum
i went for a walk to try clear my head
i came back and went to Boots and Wilkos with mum for a few bits
came back and had a brew
sat on laptop but wasnt feeling it
i tried to paint using coffee but it was hard to tune off from thoughts
all i could think about was my holiday and work
two very big things for me and i dont know if its because im feeling fragile today
but i got a bit upset as everything feels too much to deal with
mum reassured me
but she did say that all of today ive been distant like my body is in the room but my mind isnt
i didnt notice to be honest
i had dinner and now im gonna go for a shower and see mia
she wants to do yoga but i dont
ive had a banging head ache all day so im not putting myself through more for her sake
im shattered too
i want to socialise but im so damn tired
tomorrow not sure what im doing
probably not work as i have nothing on so no work will come through
might see tara in the evening
