evening
I couldnt sleep last night but that was due to how much sleep i had had during the day
so i got up in the end as i felt hungry and sick so i had some cereal and played okami
then i was in bed for 12:45am
i slept through the night after that
this morning i still felt dead
i lazed round and sat with Ozwald then actually motivated myself to go for an hour's walk by myself at 10:30am, when I got back I showered and had some lunch then made my soup for the week.
I went on my laptop for a bit and ordered a kitchen roll holder and put a bid on a wall mirror, just stuff for the bungalow-to-be kinda thing.
then i was left home alone so i did an hour's worth of exercise which consisted of yoga and dance and blasting my music out, it was quite nice actually. thought it might help but its just left my body throbbing in pain, so it doesnt matter what i do im just destined to be in pain...im so tired of it all and i have work tomorrow too.
during my dancing i actually recorded myself doing a dance as i wanted to see if i could do the movements properly. and whilst i was happy to see that yes i was doing things correctly, what i wasnt happy to see was the size of my arms!! T^T think i need to go on a diet, im just chunky. since returning to work i have lost 2.5kg but obviously i have a long way to go >.> think im like 64kg now but id like to be in the 50's if i can
the other day i tried on some work wear from my teaching assistant days and found they were tight on me, this was depressing. but mum said its because when i was a teaching assistant i was still quite poorly and skinny so its no shock they dont fit as well as i have put weight on and look better for it, but i dont see it that way. i dont have a nice slim feminine body, my body is chunky and looks like its ready to rugby tackle someone -______-
my jaw is bad like it hurts to put my teeth together and eat so i have been eating foods that require little chewing -_____-
ahhhh life....i shall try not to complain too much
think jack has got back from brandon's so i will go over shortly so we actually have some time together. then it will be school tomorrow and i will start enduring the week all over again.
think it will be weird when i go over to jack's as he has been taking a lot of stuff over to his mum's today so i imagine it will look quite sparse in the flat
anyway tomorrow is a new day and maybe i will be in less pain? im gonna watch what i eat for the sake of my jaw and my weight
