I didn't sleep too well last night
I ended up waking like an hour after i'd gone to be -____-
what is the point!?
and ive been doing really well lately not scratching my face in my sleep
and last night I woke up twice cus I was scratching my forehead
so my forehead was a lil red when I woke up :(
it was healing so well!!
Life is cruel at times
I got up at 7am and sorted pets out
I was out the house for 8:20am for acupuncture
which wasn't too bad this week actually
only 8 needles and I told him how good Id been past 4-5 days
I left there and went straight down the street fr 5mins and arrived at CBT
I sat in my car txting then I had a slow walk to the CBT
cus I was early I sat and drew in my sketchbook
I was called through
found out after 4 weeks she still hasnt sent my referal for psycho dyanmic therapy...
seriously what takes so long!??!
We talked about emotions and I said even though I say "i'm peed off" or "im annoyed"
im not actually feeling those feelings im just saying it cus in the situation thats what i should be feeling. in reality I just dont get that annoyed therefor it affects the main emotion of anger
i said "i know we all have the emotion anger but i cant think of a situation that anger is needed or would make a situation better" she looked at me like id just said the weirdest thing ever
but its true its how i feel so she said i have every right to be angry
so my homework this week is absolutely brutal
i hate it
really HATE it
I have got to waste time
thats it
I have got to sit and do nothing
which goes against everything i stand for!!! im always doing something even if i am sitting down im drawing or hand sewing or something im just on the go all the time. she wants to take that away and write down my anger levels. she even said to get adam involved cus i said he's brilliant at doing nothing and wasting time.
I went home cus i felt exhausted and shaky
so i got some food and put pigs out
i was suppose to eat with adam but i just needed a minute to myself so regain some strength
went to adam's
told him about my homework
he found that so amusing >.>
and made me do my homework!!!! which honestly got my back up
cus it felt like he was winning points on me somehow and his smug face honestly
so i sat for 20 mins and did nothing it felt so much longer than 20mins
he found it funny and i about bit his head off when he said "10 mins left"
so as soon as the 20 mins were over i got up saying i needed a play fight to vent
he told me i needed to record my homework so he smugly handed me a pen and paper
i was seething
but i guess it was all that was needed really
to be annoyed and he achieved it
we played pokemon and i annoyingly fell asleep for over an hour
i was so shattered i just couldnt wake up
eventually i got up and we shared some chocolate cake
i felt drained so i went home for dinner
and thats where i am now~
gonna do some form of exercise tonight and some drawing
tomorrow i get to do as i please in the morning so im having a lay in til about 8-8:30am
in the afternoon im seeing adam he told me he's coming over after the gym to see me
so in the morning i might get some sewing done
here is some nail art i did the other week~
