I didn't go over to jack's
he didnt text til 8:50pm and i had already made my decision i wasnt gonna go over
i had had a mini melt down, lost a few tears
but like the sun, i rise again
i pick myself up and i keep going
and decided i could do it alone i didnt need to rely on others
so i spent the evening doing what I wanted to do
screw everyone
it did let me finish the new banner i decided to do for facebook and i also made a new avatar out of it too, not bad i guess and gives me something different to look at
jack was a lil surprised that i didnt stay over
but meh he'll live im sure
i didnt sleep well
sick of dreaming about fighting pirates!
i had to get up in the night as well annoyingly
just cus i was aching and my mind was going a mile a minute
this morning i was awake before my alarm
i woke up thinking "is this what morning sickness feels like?"
cus my god did i feel sick!
i felt tired but knew i had to start my day 6:15am
i got up for a shower and began my day really
i said bye to mum and she hugged me before i left
jack and the new technician - julia - were already there
making tea, jack offered me tea, something that has never happened before
but i guess hes gotta be good in front of new person
i got straight stuck into my job no messing and even ended up doing some of jack's job too as he was too busy getting julia sorted
after the first hour passed i went upstairs to them and said
"ahh ive been on my own all morning, so lonely"
jack turned round and said "go clean a fridge"
....
did he really just say that to me
it actually stung a little bit considering he'd barely spoke to me, knew how i was feeling about starting full time and had basically got on with mine and his work
i turned round and left
i basically spent the whole day working alone
as he was going on and on at julia until in the end i actually said to him
"jack you havent shut up all morning, give the poor woman a break i bet her head is spinning theres no way shes gonna take all this in"
julia said "its ok just dont expect me to remember it all"
jack just glared at me
jerk
actually he was a right arse hole all day
like the week off we had had he had stored up all this need to lord over people
i got all my work done and helped with his and julias
i did not stop
id hate to think how many steps i did today
i managed tho and head of science asked how i was getting off
a few people noticed that it was clean in the prep room and i told them id been in to clean they said it was best its looked in a long time ^^
i had a few dull bits in the day
and it felt like a long day too i think its cus im up so early and i just dont stop
4pm came and i said i was leaving
jack said he was waiting for julia i said "you do that"
i think there was only one part today for a few minutes he was 'normal' and that was when we were totally alone.
he made me plant cress as well with seeds from 2006 i said "these are dead they wont grow"
he still made me plant them >.>
then washing up came in and i said "ahhh is that physics washing up i see? its certainly not biology thats for sure"
jack - physics
jo - biology
julia - chemistry
he said "no its chemistry actually and youre cleaning it"
i said "im not cleaning it its not my job and what you gonna do?"
he said "make you do it cus im your boss"
what an absolute arse hole
honestly today i think i came close to headbutting the guy
proper lording his weight round >.>
guess it is weird working and dating
and it did make me second guess things today
but its first day and i still want to be with him
i just dont want him being a total jerk
not heard from him and i aint txting him
i ate breakfast biscuits for my lunch which gave me bad stomach pains
like eating knife bits
lunch is not worth it it would seem so i had stomach ache for the remainder of my shift
probably just drink hot chocolate tomorrow
i came home and mum made me a brew
i had a yogurt and stuff
and just died on the sofa with Oz
i havent exercised as of yet
not gonna dance ill probably just do some yoga
then maybe do some drawing
tomorrow its school again
think were getting like every single chemical out the cupboard and doing a stock check i can not wait to see what we uncover and at least i wont be left alone all day, hopefully anyway
other news
today is the 21st birthday of my youngest cousin!!!
my god i can remember when she was diddy and cute well she still is cute
but yeah i sent her a hoodie and made her a card
she came out with the news today shes 'gender fluid' never heard of the term before but hey if thats what she is then cool with me
i hope she has a great year
