Happy New Year
Yo~
So yesterday being 2019 I went over to jack's once I got ready
we sat talking with theo for a while then jack cooked me and him dinner
we had chicken and sweet potato which was good actually
and didnt cripple me
i helped him tidy a bit and make his bed
then his friends starting coming over, the usual 5 of them - all from the private school they attended but this time there was extra, one brought his boyfriend - matt, a guy i have yet to meet. he doesnt usually come out because he feels left out the group as the rest all know one another from school and hes just there on the outside. but strangely i have never felt like that with them. i feel a little different but thats because im the only female in the group
the started drinking
and i was good i didnt join in ^^
i was doing well with my diet damn it
we all started playing a really rubbish card game that both me and matt couldnt get our heads round so we chatted about school and digimon, hes a teacher and im an ex-TA so we had a lot of common ground and we both like pokemon and digimon so yeah i was getting a long great with him
we played a drawing game which didnt matter on drawing skill but i still won loads of rounds i actually enjoyed it, the guys were making jokes and drinking but it was nice
it wasnt loud and over the top and drunken acts it was just a nice social evening
they began playing music from the last decade and they could all quote what they were doing in the years, i touch of sadness came over me as i missed out on many of those years as they were snatched from me and i spent them sick
at 11:40pm we decided to walk into the city centre were there was gonna be a fireworks display, personally i wasnt bothered as i knew it wouldnt be up to much
but i put on some warm wear and decided to go out
it was very crowded and loud and im not sure how i even coped as its kinda out my comfort zone really! but somehow i was fine, i had the guys surrounding me
and we watched 10 mins of fireworks which was yeah alright
i just stood watching them thinking "even tho this isnt a terrific display, be happy you're alive.. youre here and alive. you wouldnt have managed this years ago. But what do i want to happen next? what do i want to happen in the next decade?" i pondered this as everyone was enjoying the show
we left, matt took one hand and guided me through the crowds and jack had my other hand so i felt safe ^^ i didnt have to ask, just the guys know i probably need that bit of reassurance
we got back to the flat and talked til 2am
i was shattered and very much in need of medication
we were in bed for 3am
i had gone past the stage of being tired tho so took me a long time to sleep
jack was talking to me saying we need to discuss what we both want to happen this year
in the morning i woke up at 10am
but didnt leave the bed til 11am
i was trying to get as much sleep as i could as i was tired
got up and had meds and my cereal then i got to have a bath ^^
it was so hot it made my heart pound and i felt dizzy
and im suppose to want to try japanese hot springs! i wont stand a chance XD
me and jack went out for a bit round the few shops that were open
i brought a thank you card for mum as i feel i should thank her for the last 10 years of care she has given me. i brought a japan travel book reduced from £19 to £3! tells you places and what transport you need to get to it, good book to read actually
i got a terrarium finally! and the coolest table runner its a halloween one the print is lovely
and i brought some tea as im struggling without my tea!
i havent tried them yet
we got back to the flat and i had my lunch which was soup
jack brought soup and bread and had that with me
i told him he doesnt need to join in with me but he says hes putting weight on and needs to eat better so whatever i let him get on with it. i envied his bread a bit tho
we did tarot card readings
love starting my year with a reading - i asked "what has 2020 got instore for me?"
mine was basically:
i am good at taking the good with the bad
i struggle to allow myself to enjoy things
i will get through this year and feel pleased with my achievements
my relationship with jack will be very testing as times and cause a bit of trouble
jack's reading for the same question was basically:
get his finger out his arse and make things happen, he is laid back but needs to put effort in otherwise he will lose things
so i said to him "thats our year then, you need to put effort into this relationship or youre losing me"
i said to him "whenever youre playing games too much or not doing anything i will be sure to remind you of the tarot card reading"
i came home then
saw my Ozwald who had missed me but mum said he'd had 3 treats outta her today
eats me out of house and home!
then we sat as a family and had a roast dinner
the 2nd time i have to do it in a year
so thats done with till christmas day
it was nice and didnt give me too much pain
ive got my exercises to start tonight so im gonna do that next
then i will sit with Oz probably and go bed
i am tired!
so that was my first day of 2020
not bad by all accounts and better than last year
tomorrow i havent decided what im doing yet
might go garden centre with mum for cacti
