Evening
Didn't sleep great
woke up at 6am and thought "sod that" then woke up at 8am
thats more like it for a saturday
i was with the girls this morning
then did 40 mins of dancing and yoga
i was sooooo sweaty afterwards
but it felt good to work out and i did really well too ^^
then i went on my laptop for a bit
had lunch and went to bed for 2 hours
my body was just exhausted
working all week still takes it out of me
in the afternoon i started the last 4 guinea pigs
and eventually got them finished
so theyre all done which is a good feeling
they look cute too my brother and mum like them
get them sent off soon~
i still have many other projects to do...
jack woke up at 11am really hungover but said it was good night
i only got on drunk txt message at 12:30am saying he misses me
so i told him today if he still misses me he knows where to find me
he said he was gonna clean up the mess and go shopping
which i thought was fair enough
and i kinda thought he'd come 'kidnap' me as hes being saying he would all week
and that he wanted to spend saturday night together
kept saying we need to spend time together
but he told me today hes going hiking with scouts tomorrow....
so i asked him what he was actually gonna do today
turns out theo has brought a switch today with pokemon
so thats what hes doing...hes gaming. AGAIN
once again im put on the shelf for games
it hurt
and it made me question a lot really
like 'am i important at all to him?'
i know i need to have it out with him
to be honest i was so upset tonight that i told mum i no longer wanted a relationship
that i was better off alone
as that way i wont get disappointed and let down
i felt foolish for letting myself get close to someone
mum said jack has been disappointing lately, he never actually does anything for me, this relationship or does anything he says hes gonna do! but that maybe its his autistic side and that hes not intentionally being selfish and thoughtless, hes just wrapped up in his own world
which is fair enough i understand and its no excuse
but i said i dont think he can change
and mum said it depends on how much i can put up with but that i do need to talk to him
i cant really face seeing him monday...
just constantly let down by him and it wears thin. im also fed up of crying over this relationship and the fact he doesnt know how much i shed tears over him
had enough
im having an early night as my eyes are stinging from crafting and crying
crafting and crying, the two things ive done for the last few weekends!
tomorrow
i have other craft projects to crack on with
i will photograph things i make
