Monday, 5 November 2018

First Day of my First Proper Job

Evening~~

I slept pretty well
but woke up at 6am and could no way sleep so I stayed awake
and got up at 6:50am when my dad did
I got ready fast but it was a real rush think i scolded my throat with tea
and got indigestion from shovelling cereal down me
got mum too take a photo of me

but the sun wasnt really up that much so the poor lighting has created a some
what grainy photo of me
i got off ok and felt so sick and nervous

I arrived at the school early
in the hopes that i could meet the staff id be working with before school started
but no one seemed to know where i was stationed and couldnt find the head teacher
in the end someone else saw to me and i didnt have a lot of time with the teacher
i got bombarded with information today i truly did

in the morning i was in foundation so aged 4-5 
i was informed which children to look out for
i was basically in the craft room doing an activity with the children with paint
and had to write notes whilst the other TA took children for flu vaccinations 
morning went ok then break which i had to be out on
then it was free play inside which was fine
just trying to learn all the names is hard work tho

lunch time came round and they have a very weird set up at the school
we have to take the children and serve them lunch! i kid you not!
very strange and something i felt uncomfortable doing cus it didnt feel like part of my job
but guess it is
then we got our hour lunch time my first actual break
they said cus the staff room is so small that the younger years staff (which im now part of) tends to eat in their own section (in classroom infact!)
they said its my option but i thought i couldnt be doing with meeting anymore people
so i stayed with them
and one person had their birthday today and kindly brought in cake so i had a piece
good job i stayed with them XD

so ive met  just about all the staff im working with as ive been told im working with 3 classes...
thats 90 childrens names and i have staff on top of that
nightmare
but keeps the job varied
what i wasnt keen on was the age group im working with
foundation 4-5 years 
and nursery....3-4 years
hate nursery it is far too young
young and needy brats
the kids i cant say i could take to 
just didnt like them
none of them had manners 
just not nice children and so many needs as well
no wonder they appointed me they seriously need help for how many difficult children they have down there. unreal
but i must say staff are lovely lovely people
all female and im the youngest but one does look a similar age to me
the rest are like 40-55 years

after lunch i was in sodding nursery 
we made something using ice lolly sticks
then they danced to firework songs as it is bonfire night tonight
then in the spirit of bonfire night we had a fire!
it was a small on and we just burned leaves but it was good
and whats more we even served the nursery children hot dogs, mushy peas and marshmellows!!! didnt do that in my day XD so that was nice
then another break i had to supervise on
then got ready for home time
after the kids left at 3:25 i had to stay til 4pm
but it ended up being 4:10pm as the teacher just wouldnt stop talking to me
just wanted to get home id had enough mentally and physically
speaking of mentally today was the first day in a long time ive wondered whether or not i need anti-depressants, but i can talk to my psychologist about that next week

i got home and had a brew
then i went on just dance 2 to get stuff out my system
had dinner then went for a walk watching fire works
but i needed to get out i couldnt sit and stew in the house all evening
so despite being shattered i took myself for a 45min walk
just got a lot on my mind really
if i like the job, can i see myself there til easter, will i be able to learn everything, what ive eaten, my body shape, what will tomorrow be like, will i sleep tonight, what will life be like from here
all that kinda stuff
just dont feel that happy
even tho a job is what ive desired for the last year now its here im not sure how im feeling about it
the staff told me to relax and enjoy it and they all love it and have been there years
im just not sure how im feeling about it all
but only been day 1

see what tomorrow brings
i hope i sleep
i am shattered 
truly