Man I was bad last night
seriously my head was messed up
and to add to that Adam too said he was struggling mentally
he said he hasnt had a wobble since dec/jan time
i felt bad that i couldnt be there for him
he knows what thoughts burden my mind
i have no clue as to what troubles him
maybe i will find out one day if he lets me in
his depression is practically on the way out
he wasnt sure what caused this little blip but hopefully it will pass
but i will try be strong for him
i told him he doesnt have to see me cus i dont always want to see people when im bad
but he really wants to see me still
anyway today
i woke up peed off with the world
i just wanted to go back to bed and stay there the entire day
the world would still go round without me
i got up and went into mums room and on her bed (dad was already up)
she knew there was a problem as i only lay on her bed when im not happy or well
i told her i didnt want to go to school i didnt want to do anything today
she told me to not let it win and i'll be annoyed at myself if i dont go
all she said was true
so i slowly got ready
got to school and all the kids looked quite fashionable and on a good day
i would have joined in with that but i had a jumper and joggers on
screw it who have i got to impress
the morning went relativity slowly
i kept feeling like i could have a panic attack at any point tho
then i went home for lunch
god i didnt want to go back i was so tempted to ring and say im staying home
but i knew how easy the afternoon would be so i went cus its easy money
got back and i was home alone
so i made a brew and read in the quite
then went on my laptop
i ordered some canmake make up cus i earned it today damn it!
i also got my new skirt through the post BodyLine!!! so kawaii to the point were i dont wanna wear it its just so cute and lovely!
and i got my canmake concealer which i am yet to try
then i watched Tokyo Girls on BBC4 Iplayer
that was interesting to say the least
just gave an hour about japan idols and the industry
i recognised quite a few groups ^^
Oz gave us all a heart attack
i couldnt see him for about 10-15mins so went to find him
couldnt see him then mum shouted me and she sounded panicked
she told me not to move so i crept
and i could see Oz under the gate
HE HAD GOT UNDER THE GATE AND THROUGH THE OTHER SIDE
that has NEVER happened in all the years ive owned bunnies never has one got
under that gate. even as babies they never managed it or dared it
but i think cus hes so thin and small he could do it
and he was trying to get back in
got my heart was in my mouth
i picked him up and took him to my room
Tomorrow I may start my fairy kei jacket
seeing adma at some point as its my normal thing to do on a saturday now
but not going if im really bad you know
made him this i brought him some beard scissors and made a pouch for them
