I went for a walk with adam around 7:45pm last night
we just went round his neighbourhood and through a park
it was good and got me out
i was very hyper tho
I had a couple of moments were I thought I saw stuff
a shadow
then a moth
adam laughed when i flinched and he said "its a branch"
i said "No there was a moth it was big too"
he said "there was no moth Jo"....ah
yeah i have these moments it would seem
I must say i believe i have made a bit of a discovery tho
these last few months
i feel a strong loneliness every night
like every night without fail
and i think i understand why
i think what im feeling is my other personality's feeling
shes more awake at night (like being a werewolf, i change at night XD)
and shes lonely it would seem
she just wants to play, almost like a child
she needs stimulation but not from me
from others
when i go out in the evening im so hyper and i feel less pain
because she comes through more
last night i kinda realised that
that i might not be the one who is lonely its her
and the mood and feeling totally changes once there is stimulation
i was hyper as usual last night, and adam always says "youre in a hyper mood"
hes noticed im like high at night
but ive never said why
ive mentioned that 'she' is stronger at night but it was only like this morning
i realised all this and the reasons behind it
maybe she just wants friends who knows
dont think i'll ever understand it
took me a while to get off to sleep last night
as winding down was hard
calming her down is hard
she'll party for the rest of the night given the choice XD
i fell asleep just after 11pm so wasnt bad
I woke up at 7:30am
i felt like id been run over by a car
i was crippled
I still danced tho, no further with dances just trying to practice really
showered then drove 20mins away to the shops
got what i needed and came away
i was home after an hour~~
I start making a plushie for Tara
I have finished one the Umbreon just got Flareon to do and her present is finished
I txted adam to see if he wanted to go a walk
so we did and then i sat at his for half hour, came home for my dinner
which i just made myself cheese on toast
must say with the sheer amount of food and fat thoughts lately, food isnt cutting it
almost like the taste is dulled like im not suppose to enjoy food
i did feel hungry today but in a weird way that was easier to cope with
than the mental thoughts about food
i did 10 mins of dancing tonight, nothing amazing just calorie burning really
then i made tara a birthday card, did a pikachu styled one~
hopefully if i do see her friday i can give everything to her then!
be good to get it all done
i havent done any japanese today as i just havent had chance but i might go through
hiragana and katakana just so i feel i ve done something
my japanese books came today!!
they are childrens books and they look hard!!!
i will get there :)
I read Pandora Hearts final volume today!!!
after all these years I finally finally know how it ends
and it was a weird ending but the whole series is weird
one that i will have to read and re-read to understand
as i will admit i didnt fully understand the ending but good to read/see it anyway
tomorrow i have hair cut at 10am!! finally!
cant see for my fringe!
and then at 4pm I am having a consultation with my parent's chiropractor to see if anything can be done about my joints
and then i have karen for yoga
during the day i will be doing the Flareon plush
Oh here's the final part of Adam's present finished
this is part 2 so to speak and its finished i had such fun melting those crayons
