evening
I slept well last night and woke up at 8:30am
so we only just got out the house on time for shopping at 9:30am
I felt anxious round the shop to be honest. Like my breathing was off and I felt dizzy
then all morning I have been dizzy, headachy, not able to think. And shattered
I didnt do an awful lot I felt, because I was so exhausted. Hayfever does not help T^T
But I managed to clean Oz out, and I tackled this big pot in our garden that has been in the same state as when we moved in. Nothing grows in it. I knew there was an ants nest underneath it however I was not expecting the entire thing to be one big ants nest....dear god what had I uncovered. I felt really itchy after doing that job!!!! I emptied it, washed it out and poured kettle water over any remaining ants RIP
i then planted my new plant I picked up from the supermarket today for £2!
At this point I did ask Jack if we were gonna get any jobs done i.e. my craft room shelves and the front door light + front door number plaque.
He did not seem keen I could tell by his body language and when I asked him what his beef was he said that "drilling massively stresses me out" and that was that. So I said its fine I can leave it but felt it was unfair how I just have to keep waiting for my craft room to get done you know?
so I txt mum saying I felt stupidly anxious and that Jack didnt want to do anything for the house today. she said "do you want me to pop by for a cuddle?" I said "yeah" but thought she half hearted meant it kinda thing
next thing I knew mum and dad were here and dad carrying his tool set!!!!
and that stressed Jack out massively, he couldnt cope with the spontaneous DIY + dad. He basically locked himself in his office! So I felt a bit awkward and wondered just what was up with him like had I dont something kinda thing. he was making my anxiety worse
dad did a fantastic job of my lighting and number and I instantly felt like the house was more ours when it went up. He was kind enough to do my shelving also and I have filled one with mini plush ^^ I supervised and helped out and was constantly fetching tools and the like. Mum was there so I wasnt left with dad as she knows I was at breaking point
they left once everything was done
I started dinner and jack came down to help without me asking and once dinner was on I spoke to him about stuff but it took a while for him to chill out from it all.
I did some exercise which I enjoyed actually as it was a work out to Kpop so it made a change
had a bath and then changed my new piercing, doing a face sheet with Oz and now gonna watch anime with Jack ^^
tomorrow is school
I do hope I manage, I know I am anxious I know I am
and at 10am I have a meeting with head of department about my absence
I will do my best
im taking a sleeping tablet tonight 0.0
