Evening
It's my birthday on tueday! entering my early 30s~
This week, I dont feel an awful lot happened. I worked from home once and got my work finished for the biology teacher that was a nice achievement
work its self wasnt too bad really
my brother got his start date for work, 20th february which is when we go back after half term I am so excited to have him at school!
On friday Ed texted me to ask if he could see me saturday
saturday Jack was leaving around 1pm and coming back at literally midnight. He was going to birmingham for a family party. I was invited but it would have killed me off. He did not really want to go ether ^^;
saturday came round and from the moment I woke up I felt anxious and shaky. I didnt feel happy about the day at all
we came in from food shop and I cuddled up with Hammington. Jack found me after putting the shopping away he asked me if I was ok and stuff and yeah thats when I had a mini meltdown. Got upset and everything. Just couldnt cope with anything that day. Seeing Ed, having Jack leave, having him come back late. Just all of it wasnt sitting well with me. Think it was because it was all last minute and change of routine. Not to mention that the whole week I had felt a bit burned out and didnt sleep very well friday night -_____-
so after i confessed all that he said he didnt have to go and all that. I said I would be fine and he should go. He then txted his mum saying i was sick and didnt want to leave me. I txted Ed and we had a rest day. I got my chores done in the morning and sat drawing in the afternoon whilst jack did warhammer. I felt awful cancelled Ed, again. but i couldnt cope and wasnt in the best mindset. Socialising lately has become a very daunting task for me. I am so tired all the freaking time. Its not so bad when you know you will be with them like an hour or so but when theyre there all day its too much. I am too tired.
Oh and we weighed Oz, he was 2.9kg! our scales arent very accurate but I love him for maintaining anyway. He could have lost more but like I said theyre not that accurate. Im sure he will be 2.8kg next week cus I can see bunny shape on him!
I have been doing a pointless drawing in my sketchbook. Yup a drawing just cus I want to, no purpose, doesnt matter if its crap and yeah its good. I am starting to chill out with my art again. I think whats massively helped is quitting instagram, social media cus I am not looking at art and comparing myself to others. Thinking I am crap so whats the point in doing my art. Yeah best decision. Quit social media.
my brother came over yesterday with his Ebike. I have never even seen one. So he wanted me to have a go and that was an amazing experience! I can see how he got up to 44mph now. Hes so happy with it like a kid with a new toy but its good for him.
today just done chores, bit of drawing and mostly resting. I am so tired. we went for a walk down the river together at 9:15am this morning. It was only 2c but I felt I needed it as part of the TLC weekend.
this week
well tomorrow Jack's mum and step dad are coming over in the evening to drop my birthday card over and as we havent seen them since christmas they will no doubt stay for a bit....
tuesday jo's birthday
wednesday I am thinking of working from home and maybe going out for cake with mummy. maybe. also have a hospital phone call about my tummy
thursday normal
friday we have inset day and then school finishes!!
