I didn't do my diary last night as I got home too late and was too tired
I didn't sleep great but got up and cleaned Oz out and did some dancing
i could not be bothered with the day but got on with it
then i got ready to meet Jack
i had a look round a few stores first then went to go meet him
we went to go buy wind up toys he needed for work
so we did that then we went and sat in a pub
he brought me tea and cake
and then i brought us both a hot chocolate
we sat and talked and talked
i ended up changing in front of him
hes seen my other half and it went as well as it could have gone
there was no aggression or anything apparently they just talked
but i was gone for 20 mins as when i came back i was severally shaking and couldnt move my body i was supported by jack
i think he said he found the whole thing surreal
seeing me with different facial expressions, different voice. and acting differently
it was taking a while for it to sink in for him
i felt so bad but i had warned him that my other self has wanted to meet him
and i was so scared of being rejected but he seems ok with it
i hope he is and wasnt just being nice
but he talked to her like she was a real person
she named herself Eko
he'd like to meet her a few more times before he can get a real feel for her
it was triggered because he actually kissed me
ahhhhh he kissed me
i kinda remember him doing it before the change then after id come round he kissed me not Eko so that was nice that he wasnt scared of put off kissing me because the first time he tried i changed. maybe he will truly accept her
when i could walk again we left and i had to catch a different bus back to my car as id missed the last bus but couldnt be helped i guess
so i got home at like 9pm and made some dinner
i managed to get off to sleep ok but woke up a lot in the night then got up at 5:30am feeling really quite sick
when i got up at 8am i noticed it had snowed
but it was the smallest amount
i didnt bother going downstairs i simply crawled back to bed and stayed there for a while
my concerned mother kept checking on me and asking if i was ok
i just told her i was tired and that my head was busy
it really was busy last night and all this morning
i just felt so outta it and couldnt handle anything even noise
she understood and asked if i wanted to talk
but what could i say "you know the person in my head you have night terrors about? well she came out yesterday and sat all over jack and kissed him"
yeah it wouldnt go down well
i know she fears Eko
so im best not talking about it
but i felt i had to talk to someone about it
im hoping i can see mia tuesday
she will want to know
i made lunch as i didnt have breakfast
then i went on my laptop a bit
it wasnt til 3pm i got dressed out my pajamas and did some yoga and dancing
god knows where i found the energy from
we decided to put girls out but it suddenly lashed it down
its been so windy and rainy today
i went to go grab their play toys in from the run
and the wind blew and blew the run lid down so wood came down hard on my head
it hurt and made me lose balance so i landed backwards in the mud
i was crouching when it came down on me so no wonder i lost balance
so ive had a pain on my head all day but luckily no marks or lumps
i was worried i chipped my teeth as it made me clamp my mouth shut thank god my tongue wasnt between my teeth at the time!!
ive done a bit more of the picture
the base is coloured in
jack has checked up on me today via text
im glad hes ok with me
i see him tomorrow at work anyway
