Monday, 5 August 2019

My first trip in an ambulance

Evening~~~~~

I've had an interesting weekend

I spent saturday out with jack and harvey
we were getting bits for their black tie outfits for friday
so we were shopping basically
i also got my ears pierced! I got 3 more piercings! all in the same ear
i got two in my lobe and i didnt even flinch i impressed myself
it didnt hurt really, but the rook piercing i got involved a needle like my helix piercing and it did hurt and hurt even more when i was having the bar put through my god that was painful
then we went back to jack's and i left him and harvey to go play pokemon go as there was an event on and i wanted to get ready for the evening ahead and see Oz

so i came home and dropped off the dressing gown I had brought -- it's a man's one ^^ so its massive but its lined with fluffy stuff and was suppose to be £55 i got it for £16.50!! its such high quality, bring on winter so i can sleep in that!
I also got 3 volumes of manga one I havent read before - Yokai Rental Shop
looking forward to reading that

i got ready to go out for jack's birthday
we were gonna go out drinking with about 10 friends
so i headed back to his and ate with him and then people started to come over for pre-drinks at 8pm
a nation of people that before they go out for drinks, have drinks!
insane really XD
i said i wasnt drinking
but one of jack's friends who ive met several times and i like, made me a drink
vodka + coke
so i took it to be polite and join in with everyone who was downing drinks left right and centre
i wasnt fussed on having it but yeah just joined in i guess
then jack tried his gin he's been flavouring with raspberries for the last month
it was alright

i was messing around with people and was the only female there
i did feel a little strange and people were asking if i was alright
i talked to the guy who made me the drink and told him i was on a lot of medication and that i wasnt drinking, he was saying he'd look after me
and he made me another drink but at this point jack asked me not to drink it and drink water, he took me outside and then 2 friends came to see me outside and thats when i cant really remember what else happened
its when the evening took a very different turn 
i passed out - from here this is what jack has told me as i cant remember
i was on the floor with jack and he said i looked like i was panicking and i just passed out
then from there i would wake up frightened to death, screaming, crying and passing out, shaking lots and not letting anyone near me, hiding under furniture
Theo rang for an ambulance, jack took the phone and had to tell the operator my details and how often i was breathing and if i was conscious or not as i kept repeating the cycle of waking up, crawling away and passing out again.
the guys apart from jack and harvey went downstairs to theo's bedroom as i think their presence and noise was freaking me out
the ambulance said it could be an hour
it was about 30mins since making the call the ambulance turned up
i was awake when it pulled up which was 10:30pm
harvey went to go let them in
and he said that he was gonna get rid of the guys too
i was sobbing, i was scared as i didnt want anyone touching me or taking me away
a young female medic turned up with an elder guy medic
i told them not to touch me but eventually let the female touch me, i passed out
god my head hurt from all the fainting and hitting my head
i couldnt speak properly
i was trying to answer them but it took a long time to get words out
they asked what i had drank, what meds i was on, if this had happened before, if i felt safe
i didnt want to go with them
but agreed to go but worried about not being able to walk as i felt so tired and shaky, scared about my parents finding out, worrying about how to get home as the hospital is on the other side of town to my house.
i walked aided down to the ambulance and was strapped to a bed
it was so frightened and the medic said she'd make sure that jack stayed with me at all times, we said bye to harvey and he said he would go and find the guys in town

i just about coped with the ambulance journey but freaked out upon arriving at hospital 
jack was trying to calm me down and the nurses were told he was to stay with me at all times
i was seen by a nurse who took my blood pressure and pulse and then they wheeled me into a section with a curtain with jack
we waited to be seen by a doctor who came and asked me what meds i take, what id drank, what happened and stuff.
blood was taken from me for tests and i was put on a drip as well
blood pressure and pulse were taken a few times and my temperature, my blood pressure was low and my temperature was high
they said i could have had a seizure and that i would see the neurology department in the future for tests.
it was officially jack's 26th birthday at this point ><
poor guy
he was saying he was not expecting to spend his birthday in hospital
i felt so so bad
i had returned more to myself and could remember what was happening now as i had sleep and fluids and rest.
i promised on the hospital bed that id listen to jack, that i understand he isnt being fun police he is simply looking out for me as i dont always think
he was happy with that
i also pledged on the hospital that i would never drink again
even tho i had only had one drink it clearly doesnt go down well with my new meds or me and frankly im not fussed on alcohol so its no loss and is not worth the stress
id rather have a sweet drink

eventually it was deemed safe for me to go to home
this was at 5:45am
the trams didnt start running again til 6:30am
so we went to the hospital cafe and had a cookie and tea as i bloody needed it
then we had a slow walk to the tram stop
seeing the sun rise together in the hospital car park on his birthday XD
he paid for my tram fare as i had no money or phone on me -___-

we got back to his flat at 7am
i realised that theo hadnt come home so he had obviously gone home with a woman 
we went straight to bed and didnt get up for a few hours
i heard theo come home he sat on our bed eating a sandwich telling us he'd pulled at 35 year old woman and went home with her and i refuse to repeat all he got up to with her >.>
jack was like "you best have showered before you sit on my bed"

we had a slow morning
and i drove us to jack's parents house at 2:30pm
he opened cards and presents and we had some food and cake
then because i looked like death and was driving we came away
his mum was asking about his evening and was surprised about how he wasnt hung over 
but jack bless him didnt tell her what had truly gone off

i got back to his and fell asleep
i was dead
i woke up on my freshly pierced ear and it felt like i had had it repierced >< the pain!
i left jack's and went home it was 8pm and didnt want to tell my parents as i was tired and it was late so i got into pajamas and sat with oz and went to bed

this morning i did some yoga
and did some dancing with the fan and just a bit of dance practice
had a shower then told mum what had happened over the weekend
she was sorry i had gone through that and was glad i had jack there to look after me
she later told dad but cant say he was that bothered
i told mum i am no longer having a drink
i had originally said i wasnt drinking anyway as my pain killer and antidepressant im not suppose to drink on anyway but yeah im really not drinking now
last time i had a gin cocktail and it made my head messy
but this was something else
this was psychotic to say the least

the rest of the day i rested
i started painting and slept
sat with Oz plenty
i still feel off at times and dizzy but i think its just new meds and tiredness 

tomorrow not sure what im doing yet
dont know whether i should give jack some more time to himself before he puts up with me again
he never got mad or annoyed. he even said "its not like i can call you an idiot for drinking on medication because i've done it and a lot of people do it, you didnt know this would happen"
he was just worried and a bit stressed out thinking i would die on his birthday
my head still feels a bit bruised but i will be ok
im glad to have him but i have no idea why he is still with me
i mean after the weekend i wouldnt be surprised if he ditched me and i told him this but he is honestly fine with me
strange boy

doubt i will sleep tonight as my next door neighbour is having her 18th birthday party in her garden with 25+ teenagers
great