Didn't do my diary yesterday as I didnt get in til 12:30am
So yesterday...
I had 4 hours sleep
I woke up at 6:30am and was not spending another minute in that bed
so I got up and began my day
I went for a walk at 7am
just needed to get out
my brother saw me come in from my walk and was like "its too early for that" XD
i went over mia's for 9am
we talked and watched another fruits basket episode which was good
I came home and had a shower and got ready to see jack
as the previous night when i went to bed there was a txt message
"do you wanna come out with me and my family for a meal?"
my god
talk about scary
one hand i wanted to opt out but on the other i didnt want to seem rude
so i agreed to attend
i got myself ready for that
now did i go dressed cutesy? or did i go in dark colours?
i went in a black top, shakugan no shana necklace, red tartan skirt, black tights, red checked glove and a red bow in my hair. yeah man XD
I went over to Jack's and he said i looked nice
guess he likes me unusual appearance
we sat talking then did his food shopping
then we set off to meet his family
it was his mum, step dad, 2 sisters, nan
theyre all nice normal people
he does get teased by his sisters despite being 10 years younger than him
but he equally teases them back
both his mum and nan said theres nothing on me -____-
but all were nice people and i could easily get along with them
and i think they liked me
it was torture sitting there all those hours
that in in the end i went to the toilet
i didnt need to go but i just needed to move
when we got in the car home i said to jack "something needs to die or give me pain killers ether is good right now"
he said "yeah i could tell you were struggling to sit"
i said "no you couldnt" >.>
he said "jo your legs were going and your were fidgeting"
crap
i hadnt realised
and i tried to be normal too
he wasnt fussed or anything but i felt disappointed in case i seemed rude or impatient in front of his family
we went to his and it was 8:30pm
i didnt want to go home
i took a load of pain killers
had a play fight
then laid on his bed
i changed again
its getting so frequent but she was off
even jack noticed she was off
she wasnt herself
and still isnt
shes lost and almost sad
its a lil hard to deal with as im not used to seeing my other half this way
usually shes so firey and pent up but shes subdued
i cant work it out
and now my head is becoming messy
i had all sorts of thoughts at 1am this morning
from not eating, being fat, self harm, over dosing, loneliness, confusion and yeah just a whirlwind really
i got home at 12:30 this morning
and went to bed at 2am
i woke up at 6:30am needing a wee and went back to sleep for an hour luckily
this morning i began my yosakoi dancing with the fan!
my goodness im not used to working with a fan
i had hand ache!
i did other dancing too and before i knew it i had done an hour's worth of dancing
i was wet through i really was
like id already been in the shower
i showered and made some new joggers i got a bit smaller as they were a bit on the long side, then i got ready for my shift at work
work was fine
didnt do much washing up as it does XD
i prepped chemistry work with jack
and im more confident with it all now even tho what i prepped today i had never done before. My confidence is growing in the role. I spoke to alan as well
and i sorted stuff out and watered and tended to the plants
before i knew it it was time to go home!
i got in and got in my pajamas
mum made me a brew then i think i fell asleep for an hour
i was just too tired to function
and now i look really pale
great!
i sorted my ipod out a bit and looked at dances
about it really
i ordered some dyslexic glasses online £22.99
robbing sods
cashing in on us spazs
and a pink mascara
heres some punky gloves i got in the post last week
tomorrow i am gonna have another stab at yosakoi dancing
then i might pop to the shops for a soup container
as jack has suggested i take soup to work for lunch
he wants me to eat and hes concerned just like mum dad and brother are
so i will give it ago
i messaged a hypnotherapist as well tonight >.>
