Evening
I am back
after a few emotional and somewhat i guess depressing days
just havent been myself at all and have cried a fair amount too
ok truth is i have been crying so much my skin on my face was sore and my eyes stung and even after sleeping my eye lids were still red and puffy. Thats how much i have cried -_____-
I am not even sure what I have been so upset about. I have just been really...sad I guess :/
Just like a dark cloud swallows you up sometimes. I fall victim to it and cant get out of it. I feel next to nothing apart from sadness. My love for Jack disappears. Its so bazaar. The human mind is strange. I think I just close off from everyone. My love for Oz never changes tho.
Not much happened over the weekend, apart from my family coming to see the bathroom which they liked. and got a few jobs done. About it.
Yesterday I felt more myself and got more done and even went out side for a walk
Today I woke up and really had that monday feeling
I feel kinda ok, no where near as bad as I what I was feeling
i guess being on this diet doesnt help! Since wednesday I have lost 1.1kg! thats quick weight loss huh
I am eating constantly!
Today we got the bathroom finished as we needed to paint the ceiling and jack helped me with that
so its finished and I plan to take the photos tomorrow!
I saw my mum for a walk
made lamb mince burgers for dinner which jack appreciated ^^ i have been doing really well with my cooking and I never look at recipes ether
Tonight Jack is gaming, he hasnt been gaming much as he has been practically babysitting me in my fragile like state...think he dare not leave me unsupervise. yes things were that bad
Tomorrow
just working from home really
might do some dancing or go for a walk
its less than a week until my birthday
people keep asking "what you gonna do for you birthday?"
well its winter and we're in lockdown ^^; I would LOVE to go for a walk in the woods but its all weather dependant isnt it.
then people ask me "anything you would like for your birthday?"
I HAVENT GOT A CLUE!!!!
Jack has been toying with the idea of getting me a hamster, something to keep me occupied in the evenings XD and to give me some happiness but my mum think it is a bad idea and will give me more to do and stress over. I am in two minds, I think I have Oz who I dearly love but sometimes he is busy or needs to go home, I have enough in my life, but then a hamster is easy and I love them they are very cute and I feel it would make me happy. Just I would need Jack to pitch in a bit as Oz is mine and MY responsibility so to give me two pets seems a bit much but then my friends have had or got dogs! And a hamster is loads easy compared to dogs! I dont know I am still thinking. They are cute and I have a cage. I feel if i get one my mum will disapprove even tho she doesnt live here XD
