Evening
I woke up at couple of times, I was cold but then I hadnt slept in my dressing gown as I was too warm when I first went to bed ><
I got up and saw my lad and such
then at 6:37am my dad "has jack emailed the solicitors?"
I was almost gob smacked that it was before 7am, he hadnt said ONE WORD to me and the first thing he says to me is that. He knows I am fragile and he just doesnt care he just says it
I said "I assume so but I havent heard from him"
jesus
Work was ok
I didnt have any practicals on, did some painting
Then during a run around period, i was feeling anxious about the house anyway as we had just been talking about it all and what with running around with a mask on, my breathing just went everywhere
I was walking back with Jack and he could hear my breathing, he said "Jo if you cant breathe take the mask off" So I did and practically panted like a dog. When your anxious, your breathing goes out the window as it is never mind with a sodding mask on and running around
I got into the prep room and shed a few tears, I was just stressed with house stuff and then I think "If i am like this now, what will I be like when I have the house?"
I was worried and stuff and as Jack calmed me down he checked his emails and he had one from estate agents to say roof people were coming on monday and so he emailed back saying it was great and that we had asked solicitors to go ahead with it all, which all did help my anxiety
I got on with the rest of my day and wasnt too deathlike through the day - somehow
I did get a txt from Theo - we have each other's facebook but cant say we message much
and he said "I havent heard from Jack in a while, I need him to actually message me back cus there are some loose ends that needs tying up with the flat"
I said "sure, i'll get him to message you, I kept asking him how you were and he said you had settled in so i assumed you were both in contact. How are you doing?"
He said "Im getting better now but last sunday I got a positive test for corona"
Jesus, it gets closer
Jack came into the room at that point and said "Jesus jack you didnt tell me theo has had corona!!" He said "WHAT!?" when!?" at first I thought 'what does it matter when?' then i thought 'oh hes wondering if hes infectious' but nah its been too long so hes fine and theo says hes getting better hes just exhausted
scary
I got home and sat with Oz
then mum put Tillie & Truffle on my knee, Truffle cant sit still
We're taking Molly to the vets tomorrow as she's had this lump growing on her tummy for a while now and mum wants to get it looked at so I said I would go after school
After the pets had gone I did 45mins of yoga and felt better for it
then got pyjamas on and stuff
I collected my salad from mummy and ate it in my room for a change
I came downstairs and my dad's first words to me were "have you heard anything from solicitors?"
not 'how was your day?' 'how are you feeling' none of that, just cut to straight what I cant cope with. I just said "well no, but roof people are going in next monday" that seem to pacify him
despite me saying when we first started the house thing "any news and i will let you know"
he doesnt seem to get that
I dont think he seems to understand that buying houses takes time, even more so when theres a pandemic going on -____-
I just came back upstairs, out the way and thats where I have remained!
Im gonna do a bit of drawing now for half hour then sit with Oz and go to bed
