I was wired last night
like I wasnt tired at all despite having the busy day I'd had
so it took me hours to fall asleep
I was tired anyway in the morning and I have been up since 5am~~
Last night I was struggling with a new difficulty I have never experienced
I have a boyfriend now and some things have to change
Ed was back in the UK for the first time in months
he was also passing through my city to get back to scotland (work place)
he offered to come see me but it meant he'd have to stay a night
instead of meeting me for a few hours as he had loads of stuff with him
from his tour. Now usually I would have loved to have him over
but Adam...I couldnt do that to him it wouldnt be fair
as innocent as it would all be on my part it still isnt fair
so I had to turn him down I felt awful cus i know he's lonely
Im suppose to be his friend and I turned him away cus im in a relationship
and I feel really torn
I know obviously I can still have guy friends and adam still sees his female friends
ive never had a single issue with it cus i trust him
but this wouldnt be seeing it would be staying over
and i think thats stepping over the line.
i wouldnt like it if he had a girl stop over
just stuff i've never had to consider before
i want to get stuff right so i dont upset anyone
im sure i'll see ed one day
hopefully
Today I had school, I spent a lil longer on my make-up as I had the time to spare
I wasn't sure if I liked it or not tho I did it all a bit darker than usual
I was tempted to take it off as I felt it made me look mature
But I thought "screw it its good to have a change"
so I kept it and no one said anything so it must have been ok on me
i cant wear dark colours cus its too stark against my paleness
a girl at school told me i look 13 years old -______-
My morning was P.E. to which I joined in
it was cricket and I have never done cricket
then it was music then it was lunch time~~~
I came home for lunch
after lunch I did some jobs for the teacher whilst she entertained them
we went out for a long break time
then did a tiny bit of work so all in all not a lot it was easy!
came home and went to bed
i didnt want to but I couldnt keep my eyes open
so now im on my laptop
and im ether gonna draw or sew
but before that I have my therapy homework to start
tomorrow I am gonna sew in the morning
then adam is gonna come see me after work
then yoga
