I slept pretty bad
my thoughts getting the better of me
im on a thin thread
and when that thread snaps im unsure whether i will
cry or rage
mum says she can see me struggling despite me trying my best to cover it up
Anyway it was college today
and i could not be bothered to get up but I did :/
the only thing that keeps me going there is knowing just turning up to class
i get units ticked off = me having to do less coursework and writing!
I couldnt be arsed with myself
i put a tiny bit of concealer on and pink mascara and that was it
went for a pink and black theme today with a splash of orange~
I arrived and sat with the group of woman i usually sit with
one of them said to me shes got a job! so thats 2 out of our class 14 that have got jobs!
makes it look promising for the rest of us :)
i just hope im the not the last one to get a job!
The morning dragged, i could not be arsed with life
the class was really noisy today and it was peeing me off
she gave us break time but during our break we were asked to make up
a role play about fighting at school
i couldnt be bothered, any other time i would have been well in there but i wasnt feeling it
but we got it over and done with~
so i didnt get much a break, i had brought my DS as well T^T
two people commented to me
"are you alright? your really quiet today"
so i guess i must have been off my game if people noticed it
people who dont really know me
i just said "yeah im fine, just having an off day"
made me think 'so am i the class loud mouth or something!?'
I came home grabbed a bowl of cereal
ate, got changed and went to karens all under 12mins
i hadnt got much time to spare!
I needed the treatment at karens
i felt so much better
i spoke to her about my depression how i cant shake it
she told me to up my meds and see my doctor
i can talk to her about these things cus she used to be a nurse
i came home went to bed and got up at 5pm
since then ive played on fire emblem and read~
now gonna do some dancing or stretching i guess
tomorrow im just gonna pop out with mum
and maybe do some sewing
i do have a lil homework but may do it on my lunch break at school
