I slept really quite well last night
towards waking up i dreamed that i was with other adults
we were in this big play room playing different roles
i was playing the role of a dog and i really enjoyed myself XD
This morning I prepared myself for my interview at the school
i was nervous and excited
i dressed simply
I arrived on time and got there ok
the school was big....
Two ladies saw to me who were really nice
they jumped straight to the observation/group work id have to do
i had no idea what i was in for
they grabbed 4 year2 children
all foreign....
now im not by any means racist but i do find it difficult to work with children who dont have english as a first language
so i couldnt understand what they were saying really and also i could not pronounce their names
1 child also had severe learning difficulties
i was not warned or told about any of this
the kids got on with it but the kid with the difficulty was just making a mess
what the point of jumping me in at the deep end like that i have no idea
i couldnt wait for the lesson to be up
then the interview
that went fine, the woman were nice and it went quick i feel i answered
everything well enough. its all practice at the end of the day
they said they had been keen to meet me as i had been the best candidate so far
but that could be a load of bull for all i know!
I left the school
drove home in a bit of daze really
got home and i was drained
completely drained
mum was home 5 mins later
i made us both a brew mine had double sugar -___-
I told her how it went and stuff
and i got upset big style
i had a bit of a break down about it all
like the lid to the jar of my insecurities was opened and i couldnt screw the lid back on
i cried about not wanting to be at that school
mum said that was fine and theres no rush in getting a job
i cried about thinking it will be impossible for me to find a nice quiet small school, ive chosen the wrong career i did my qualification and training for nothing, agency work will be hard if i get given schools like that one, what will i be left with after christmas when i leave my primary school? just loads of stuff piled out
i was done
i went to bed to cry it off and rest
when i got up dad wanting me up at his work to test drive a Polo car he has
its a whole 3 years newer than mine
i was so not in the mood
i test drove it and didnt like it he said that was fine
i love my car its gonna be pretty hard to beat it
but dad hates my car XD
i went over to taras for an hour had a catch up with her
came home and applied to some schools i visited whilst i was with mad science
to see if they had an openings, well its worth a shot, you dont know unless you ask!
tomorrow i am going school
i feel a lil deflated about everything right now
but i hope i will feel good about life tomorrow
tomorrow is a new day
