My brother is home!!
He got back home around 1:30am this morning
I couldnt sleep, my head was driving my crazy and my shoulder ached and i felt sick
oh my shoulder
last night after id finished up my diary and such i decided to dance as I had
the house to myself
i was fine dancing i had no issue then all of a sudden moving my arm
i felt something literally rip, not a crack but a tear
it hurt and felt rather gross
i did my best to dance through it not wanting to give up
but last 3 days that shoulder has been cracking and that joint doesnt usually crack
so i felt something was out of alignment and that confirmed it
and laying in bed last night i hurt, a lot
I didnt drop off to sleep til nearly 1:30am
i had to go downstairs for pain killers and sickness tablet
this morning i woke up at 8:30am
i could hear my brother's voice so i went to see him
found him eating maryland biscuits and had a brew
he looked happy to be home X3
we caught up a little bit but in all honesty i havent seen him since this morning
i got ready to go to the city centre
i didnt rush myself as i wanted to see my brother but also i was seeing adam
and i wasnt sure what time he would finish and meet me in the city centre
i got into the city centre for 10:45am
I headed for charity shops then I thought id get the sports shop job done
i hate going in sport shops
i went for the brand of trainer adam's dad suggested to me yesterday and its the same make as his mum's and they were the ones i did try on yesterday
so I found the brand in shop and tried on a pair that fit really well so i got those
struggled for joggers with zip pockets tho, they dont exist in the womans section
men and children have zip pockets woman have open pockets
very annoying
i went round a couple more shops til i checked my phone
6 missed calls from adam
woops
he'd finished work early and wanted to know where to meet me
we met up and i passed adam my bags to relieve
my aching shoulder as the pain was travelling down my arm
he saw a shoe box in my bag and said
"ah Jo I should have said, ive brought you some shoes"
i burst "what!? why!? and why didnt you say, you knew I was shoe shopping today, I dont need you to do that for me, i can take care of myself"
he said "i thought it would have been a nice thing"
I said "it would if you had told me, and also dont spend that much"
at £50 for a pair of shoes id dropped through the floor
the ones I brought were £33 and thats enough!!
so he's now got to return a pair of unwanted shoes and theyre also the wrong size i thought i needed a 7 half but turns out a 7 is big enough
im giving these shoes ago after the last ones i brought
sucked, gave me blisters and aching joints
these feel much better already
went for lunch after all that
we went in a cafe that we've been to before and now shutting down
the food was utter crap im guessing cus theyre struggling and shutting down
i had plastic knife and fork
i had beans on toast and i have never come across such gross beans and bread
awful
so i barely ate
i didnt feel bad cus id paid for lunch
we came home and we sat and chatted and cuddled on the sofa
we had the place to ourselves so i was more relaxed at home as usually i feel monitored
then mum came home and we talked but i could tell she was in a mood for no reason
she said she was tired
we all frigging wore after last night keeping half awake to see if we could hear my brother coming home or not
then i walked back into the room after taking Oz home to hear mum say
"theyre gay"
i said jokingly "whats gay?"
she said "oh nothing"
no one would say anything
she eventually left the room and i turned to adam "what was gay?"
and he showed me on his phone, it was the shoes hed brought me
mum had called them gay
i thought 'thats not on'
so i chased that up
mum apparently thought adam was joking when he said he'd brought them for me
sick the atmosphere there is when i bring friends over tho
like im not suppose to
and it feels like no one likes adam and how does the reflect on me?
difficult family
im more myself at his and im welcomed into his home
adam isnt welcomed here
so i feel bad
then i feel bad about always being at his house
but i hate being home here with friends
it hurt adam what she said i know it did i saw it and he told me
we left mother and went to his house
we played crash and got the final section done but not the boss
id had enough playing on it for a bit
we talked and cuddled on his bed i talked about my family
why cant they be more open, accepting and more happy
its so oppressive round here
i tried talking about it with mum tonight but shes not bothered
i came home and got ready for yoga
we had sophie again as karen is having trouble recovering from her op
yoga was alright
typically it was shoulder work, yippee for me
it hurt a lot but i got through it as im made of tough stuff
tomorrow
got a few bits on
9:30 psychology
10:30am my parents leave for another weekend break
12:30 an hour meditation at a buddist place (giving it ago)
then in the afternoon i may see mia
maybe wash my car, maybe paint
me today~
