It was another cold night and i was once again cold in bed
god knows why I didnt think to get an extra blanket -____- brain dead
I had school today and felt anxious about going
I told the TA in the classroom (she too has M.E.) and she put my worries to rest
We had P.E. first thing which was easy enough
then break then the child I was looking after became a bit hard work
I think she was tired actually.
I came home and I was just shattered physically and mentally
not sure whats going on mentally
So I was suppose to meet with Adam after lunch
i txted to say 'I need to time to chill out from school before I come over'
He said 'you can chill out with me' i was keeping him in the dark how I felt really i was on my bed
reading and resting. I said 'I'll be over at 2pm'
well you'll never guess what happened next
i fell asleep didnt I...
Yep it 2:30pm when I woke
I woke to about 6 txt messages
I couldnt say sorry enough and thats when it kicked off...
he
had a bit of go at me, which i gave back saying i wasnt happy about even
needing a sleep and that id kept my illnesses away from him so not to
trouble him and the first time i cause a bit of bother he has a go. I
apologized of course i did. but he wasnt happy with me. So i put my
phone in my draw and cried a lil cus i felt like "will anyone understand
me?". Immature to put my phone away but with how I have been mentally I just couldnt face it. In all honestly my phone is still in the draw and its 9pm! anyway
mum came home and talked to me.
but
she said to give adam time and to be more open cus he didnt know
how i was feeling. its just me not wanting to let people down. i wasn't
responding to adam cus i couldnt face it i thought he'd be really angry
at me you know.
then the door bell goes
its adam with cake as he's walked 50mins to get to my house!
so we talked it out and it was all fine. i just find it hard to let people into my life i think. i dont like to trouble people.
he stayed a couple of hours then i took him homebut i felt so much better about it
i think I would have been in real down mood for the rest of the night if he hadnt shown up
he'd given me cuddles and everything was forgiven and he told me what he wants to do together at the weekend and stuff. I just don't get how he doesnt dislike me
I havent done much since
cus im just shattered quite honestly
tomorrow it is 'World Book Day'
I am dressing up as Angelina Ballerina
I plan to take a photo :D
Here were last week's nails not sure if I showed them or not
