I ended up going to bed at 9pm
I felt tired and quite relaxed despite the hour before I felt seriously
tense, on edge and restless
so i thought whilst I was feeling tired I would go to bed even if it was early
ended being woken up at 11:30pm by my dad knocking on my brother's
door asking him to "turn it down"
my brother had fallen asleep with his music on XD
I was tired this morning and really could not be arsed to get up
I felt so sluggish
but by time I had eaten, had a brew and showered I did pick up a bit
I managed to record a dance anyway :)
I spent my morning with the guineas I feel like
at lunch time I got Pinks out and made myself a salad whilst
throwing her bits and pieces to keep her quiet XD
then I saw mum and we had a quick catch up before I went off to psychology
I struggled to get parked up theres literally no where to park round there
its quite annoying
I was on time but kept waiting
a woman in her 30's came in with a cute Kath Kitson bag which had a guinea pig print
on it and I was tempted to say to her "cute bag"
glad I didnt as she walked up to the reception "is Dr.....in? I need my meds"
ok considering this was a mental health place Im glad I stayed away from her
never quite know whos gonna be ok to talk to and who is a complete nutter
best to keep to yourself
so I met with this psychologist
he spent the first 10 minutes of my 50 minute appointment talking about himself and the basics of psychology and how it differs to a psychiatrist
he asked at the end of it "any questions?"
i felt like saying "yeah just one, why do you have your left ear pierced?"
but thought Id be better answering "nope"
to be honest I had switched off when he was blabbing on about himself anyway
The guy seemed humourless so I went and tried anyway
"do I get any homework?" and he went to smile but couldnt quite achieve it
i tried
he replied "no I dont set homework"
what a bore
we talked about my home life, my family and how i interact with them, what i do for a living, my conditions and that was about it really
he was a bit arsy with me that i couldnt make 2 weeks time due to me being away on my birthday week and he is going away start of march for 3 weeks. he'd like to get in 2-3 more sessions before then and thats not my problem.
anyway im booked in again at 12 February
I came away thinking "egotistical tit" I didnt rate him much
and felt like he's gonna end up referring me on to someone else
he said i need to 2-3 more sessions to finish my history then he will discuss treatment
I went straight to adams from there
as i wanted to see him
he had got back from the gym and was making himself a late lunch when i arrived
then he went for a shower whilst i waited on his bed
he came back from showering and came up to me on his bed
i had this thought strike in my head, as certain as the grass is green, that he was going to hit me
not that he has ever ever hurt me but I had the overwhelming thought that he was gonna hit me so i instantly recoiled away from him, he looked worried and asked "whats wrong?"
I said "oh nothing" he came to me this time and reluctantly kissed him he said "are you sure?" I said "yeah you just caught me off guard" I didnt have the heart to tell him 'i thought you were gonna whack me' but I could tell my answer hadnt convinced him but he said no more about it
god knows where that thought came from
his dad arrived home at that point and we talked then i went home
been home since and not done much really
sorted out a few bits and pieces like nail designs for myself when i go away with mia
i might dance as i havent done any exercise this week really
i sorted these bits i got in the post from korea
A facial wash, electric (battery) eyelash curler, a lip treatment, and a mascara - i love the mascara as it comes off with soapy water, i havent worn mascara in months due to it being hard to remove so the skin round my eyes gets irritated and sore and takes a while to heal so i have had to make do with clear mascara
Don't know what im doing tomorrow
pets have got to be cleaned out
millie has the vets at 4pm then i might be seeing tara
