O genki desu ka?~~
Last night I was annoyed
I attempted to sleep IN my bed
I thought it was all going according to plan until I started aching
and a whisper in my head told me I hadnt taken my pain medication
and at 12:30am I got up and had to get rid of the content of my stomach
i thought whilst i was up id go see if I had in fact not taking my pain medication
and low and behold I hadnt! that is why I was aching
and even at 1:30am whilst I tried to sleep in my bed I just didnt feel comfortable
so in the end at 2am I climbed on top of the sheets and wrapped my dressing gown
round me, as i am sick to death of being sodding cold at night
its not cold but I am, its my anti-depressiants
what little circulation I had has gone basically
my hands are constantly cold and white like scary white
I woke up at 9am after I eventually drifted off to sleep
I spent my morning doing a bit of sewing and I told mum I was seeing adam after he'd
eaten lunch at the gym. she asked what i was doing about lunch
i told her i hadnt eaten today and would eat later as i was trying to give my guts a break
i hadnt eaten but by 11am i had visited the toilet 3 sodding times
my patience was wearing thin
I told mum id be home after picking adam up and popping to the shops and post office
I told her I wanted to crack on with sewing and drawing
she said "and this is how youd be if you were 'normal', constantly wanting to do things and adam content with not doing anything. which is why i dont think you two would work if you were normal" if thats mums way of asking me to break up with adam then she best come out and say it. i HATE people pussy footing around me
shes right what she says tho. cus if im totally honest if i was 'normal' i wouldnt have a boyfriend any how, no time and not important enough to take my time. who needs love and emotions right
i told her i envy the fact that a lot of people my age are happy to waste their days doing nothing how easy they find it to switch off but i just dont.
mum said because ive been feeling so crap lately she doesnt blame me for wanting to get stuff done cus ive been missing out on all i want to do
i met adam in the pouring rain
i had to take him home to fetch a coat
we went to a few shops
it felt good to be able to drive again as it felt like someone had taken my right to drive
i was safe and no issues happened
i posted a lil rabbit toy i had to my cousin as it looks similar to her new bunny
thought it would be a nice surprise for her
we came back to his house and i stayed for a cup of tea but i could feel my stomach griping
whether that was from lack of food or it wanting to be requited with the toilet
i didnt know. nor was i gonna chance it
so at 2:30pm i said i was leaving to have some food
adam could tell i didnt want him with me
i was not prepared to waste my day dosing and playing games
no way. i would have bitten his head off i think
before i left adam asked me to show his dad my driving license which i did
and his dad laughed...yeah i get that kinda response. i was 17!!!!
he said "you sure this isnt your brother's license? you look chinese"
i said "chinese!?"
he said "you should be careful when you go abroad they may not let you back in the UK you know what with you needing a VISA and such" clearly loving this
so tonight i texted adam and said "when i next see your dad i will speak to him in my native language" he asked what i meant i told him "when i see him and i can be arsed i will speak japanese to him as im totally capable, seeing as he thinks im of the asian persuasion" he found it hilarious and cant wait to see it
got home and made myself a salad which stayed in me for about 2 hours
i did a tiny bit of sewing but im waiting for the burgundy lace in the post so its on hold now
i did some more drawing
got a lil further i guess but i got distracted reading manga and being with pets
tonight i did a bit of dancing and got a bit sweaty
i couldnt face showering again so i didnt
lately for the last week ive been showering twice a day and today i can not be arsed
the music choice lately has been Kalafina/fictionjunction
i listen to that group when im drawing, i did listen to mami kawada but i fancied a change
im enjoying their song sprinter very much ^^
i prefer listening to my groups live performances rather than their recording studio CDs
so many groups i wish i could go see live or even meet
i noticed that i only listen to female artists now
in my car today i blasted out 'sayonara solitaire' as a celebration of being back behind the wheel, that truly has to be my favourite song of all time. such beautiful lyrics. i have loved it for many many years so i think i can safely say it is my favourite song. its hard to have a favourite song when theres soooooo many right
anyway tomorrow
mummy wishes to have a trip to the city centre
i will accompany her
we dont need much so hopefully wont be too long
adam said he wants to see me. i swear hes a glutton for punishment
the way i am now why on earth would he chose to see me
he says its because he loves me
love makes humans do strange things if you ask me
