Evening
So yesterday I woke up at the bungalow, we got up and did a few jobs round the house
then we set off for asda to do our first big shop
god we were there like an hour, I was dead and Jack wanted to go argos and wilkos
he had an order to literally collect from argos so i let him get that whilst i waited - recovered - in the car and when he came back we saw the line to get into wilkos and i asked him if we could leave it. he said that would be fine. At this point it was time for Jack to drive, he would be driving us home....now insured on my car I would have to hand the keys over at some point ><
to my surprise he was actually really good, i was expecting hesitant jurky driving but no, hes done well and hes only had 12 hours of lessons so he has done really well. I had to navigate and tell him what lanes and where we were going and such but he didnt grow up this side of town so its understandable,
we got home in one piece and unloaded the sheer amount of shopping then sat down having a cup of tea which was much needed. We had lunch then I just passed out on the bed. I woke up and we went over to mum's to which she said "we were just about to head over, your dad is keen to get jobs done"
so dad and jack went over to the bungalow to do a few jobs like fit new light switches and plug sockets - am determined to change them all as theyre over 30 years old and are very very grim.....
I stayed home and went for a walk with mum, we sat with Oz for a whole hour X3
Later when dad had come home I went over to the bungalow to help Jack cook his soup for the week and to make our first meal in the bungalow together - chili turkey with rice noodles it was tasty but very hot, made Jo sweat XD
he soon zipped off to go online with his fellow nerds who he hasnt been online with in some weeks, so i stayed downstairs out the way. then decided to use Jack's speaker and played my ipod, did 15mins of dancing which made me hot and sweaty as the heating works best in the living room. But i was keen to test the space ^^ I can watch myself in the huge patio doors so it is gonna do wonders for my dancing as I can watch my movements and improve :D
I sat and painted my nails then read in bed. Jack finished gaming at 9:15pm and went for a shower. I tried so hard to get to sleep on just 1 pain killer but I turned to him and said I was struggling so we got up and had a hot chocolate and I had a pain killer. I told him the thought of going to school tomorrow makes me want to have a panic attack.
This morning I got up with Jack but I didnt go to school with him. We said it would be best if I had another day off. I hadnt cried yesterday and had started to feel a little bit better, and thought i would have another day to rest then do the 4 day week at school. Chris turned up early to pick Jack up and Jack invited him in. I was in pyjamas, dressing gown and hadnt brushed my hair....I wasnt arsed actually I kinda gone past caring what i look like and what people think of me. Im my own worst critic so no one can beat me.
Jack went to work and I did the pots and such and then went home
saw my girls and had a shower
then did some photoshop work for school
already I was feeling more myself, like i just felt like i was coming out of this dark hole I had landed in, and felt more myself and more awake
mum came home and we had lunch and then we took Ozwald to the bungalow for his 2nd visit, he loved it and dared to do the stairs this time. Me and mum were putting up curtains in the living room - the one room I didnt want Oz in and i turned round to see his nose coming the almost shut door and I said "what you doing Ozwald" he could hear me and mum in there and wanted in on the action and that was it then, Oz running round the living room he loved it and I couldnt bare to stop his fun. Can you believe this time next month he is 4 years old?! bless him. I love my chunk
we came home and sat and warmed up with a brew
then I wrapped some presents, I actually got a lot done, I just need to wrap dad's and jack's and mia's birthday presents then I have finished!
Jack rang me when he got in from work. We talked about school and then about the house and I could my stomach knotting. When we finished on the phone I did 40mins of yoga then did dinner for everyone, whilst my brother quizzed me on christmas i.e. what I am doing for christmas. I told him I didnt know and couldnt bare to think about it. My stomach twisted and i felt sick and i felt like I had taken a few steps back and was close to the dark hole again.
Food did not sit well in my stomach
I feel sick with anxiety about school tomorrow whereas this morning i felt positive about it all.
I am going and mum says I can come home when i like. That jack can ask chris to bring him home. I think I will be ok. I think I can do it. I want to try at least.
So I am going to go and sit with my lad now who is probably tired from running around today XD
tomorrow is school~
here are the bookcases Nigel sold to me, the dark wood has our manga on it, I say 'our' its 95% my manga XD the white wood case is only SOME of jack's nerd books
