Evening
I ran out of time yesterday
I woke up at 7am and I made biscuits and got ready to go into the city centre
I was a bit disappointed as my legs were hurting and I wasnt able to walk my best. I think it was because the day before I had been sat like all day with Lizi.
My brother pulled up at 8:50am and he was using my desk to work from home. I would be leaving my brother and boyfriend alone together. Something that would have never happened a year ago. My brother was still unsure round Jack but little by little hes getting more comfortable round him. Jack is learning more about my brother too. I was feeling ok about leaving the two of them alone
Mum picked me up at about 9:30am and we headed into the city on a very windy day. we got on a bus and yeah the whole thing felt like 10 years had passed. When had I last gone into the city? when had I last gone with her?
we walked round, and she pitied me, I know she did. She told me that she and dad cant bare seeing me like this. Told me they wanted me to reduce my hours or aim for Lizi's job once she moves on. Something I literally cant afford to do. She said I have no life, I just work and suffer, and why? I had spent my whole 20s suffering, id be soon 40 having spent my 30s suffering. thank you mum. she wasnt saying it to depress me, shes worried and wants whats best. But we need something called MONEY which is something you get less of if you work part time
we looked round several jewellery shops in the aim of finding rings. However we didnt really find anything we truly liked. It would have been picking out something for the sake of it. She was shocked at how much stuff was and said she hadnt brought out enough money and if she tried to use her bank card it would probably get blocked as she never uses it T^T she told me this as we had stopped at midday for cake and hot chocolate. So at this point I decided to not push myself any further as I could barely walk and we wouldnt be able to buy anything anyway. But to be honest I am not bothered. Yeah I ring would be nice I guess but I dont NEED it, I had a nice time with mummy, we had gone TK MAXX and brought them out of their rabbit easter stuff XD we had an amazing cake. Everyone has made a fuss of me for my birthday, I dont need anything else.
She dropped me off and she stayed 10 or so minutes to talk with my brother. I hugged her goodbye and went straight to bed whilst she was still here XD
I got up and had a cup of tea with Jack and we talked about our days, we had a bath, my brother finished up work and left us. I was keeping Oz in til the last possible minute so I wouldnt need to have him out when I got home. However he ended up going home a bit early as he went a bit mad. He jumped onto my bare skin arm, started humping my hand but was holding on with his teeth...i was squealing at him as my god it was so painful, if it wasnt for me having thick skin then he would have pierced it. I squealed as I didnt want to scare him by screaming no matter how much I wanted to scream, i was trying to prise him off my arm but his jaw had like locked onto my skin. Jack came running through as he could hear me distressed. Oz just about finished at this point and left me with 2 purple/red teeth marks. I felt my eyes water - from pain and shock. Jack told me to take him straight him (he was in a towel from the bath) I put Oz home and usually he does 180 in a second and checks his food dish for his evening treat or even my hand for a treat, however, he did not do this. He went all low and submissive like he knew I wasnt happy with him
we got to harveys for about 6:30
it was good to see harvey and theo. They ordered burgers and I took fish soup over. We started eating and I asked Jack what day it was he said "wednesday" I said "its also our 3rd anniversary" he said "yeah I know its our anniversary"
Harvey turned to theo "shall we leave for them to have it out?" XD I had deliberately waited to ask him in front of his friends just to see what laughs would come of it. Harvey was calling Jack all names under the sun. Jack was playing it up saying "woman know their place" theo was laughing
It made me laugh. I know my Jack loves me. We had decided to not do anything for our anniversary as I was running short on energy this holiday and also cant walk! we havent had a day out anywhere together this holiday cus of me.
we ordered pudding and I ordered my own pudding instead of eating jack's free ice cream. I had fudge cookie dough, ice cream, custard and really enjoyed it. I mean I wanted to kill myself afterwards but I did enjoy it and didnt get crippling tummy ache
we left at just before 9pm. I said to jack when we left "shall we pretend to have a row on harveys doorstep?" he laughed and said he would love to do that.
I got home and was having thoughts about food. I also felt sad about Oz it felt like we had gone to bed on an argument and i was hoping he wasnt upset doing bunny tears. I managed to get some sleep
this morning it hurt to walk from walking with mum yesterday
i had a banging headache, i felt exhausted and i think my body was screaming at me to just god damn rest. something which i am not good at ^^; however I have very much lazed about today it feels like a waste of life but suppose needed to be done.
Oz was ok with me, I went to get him out this morning and he was all submissive and low and gave me lots of licks. He wants his mummy to love him
I went for a massage at 4pm and it felt so good, i told her my shoulders are sending pain up neck to my head she told me afterwards that they were horrendous and she did my legs but was careful. shes very good at her job. she gave me some skin care to try and I booked in another massage for easter holidays and also booked in some reflexology as my mother requested
i came home and ate as i felt a bit sicky and thought a hot bath might make me feel even more sick. she had told me that if i could soak my shoulders in hot water that would be good as she did a number on them and they will ache come tomorrow. so after my dinner which i just reheated in the microwave, i had a hot bath. Jack has been gaming on a new PC game since 4:30pm, some warhammer game hes playing with theo. So he made wraps and took them to his study. He asked if this was all ok and it was as i am dead.
I am just doing my diary with Oz on the floor snoring, its only 8pm XD
I will be going to bed soon, by myself
tomorrow
mum said she will ether go TK MAXX with me or come over for a brew she says it depends how I am. I know I need to rest tho so if I am crippled which I imagine I will be - then it will be a rest day
Id like to get some drawing done, as I have finished drawing the pokemon for the case i just got to do the background
