Despite having a lovely fluffy bed i couldnt sleep
just couldnt switch off
and ended up scratching myself to death
so i got up at 1am and stayed up for an hour
slept til 6am then just kinda snoozed til 8am
this morning i went out with mum for paint for her bedroom to be repainted on friday
i waited in the car so to keep me away from germs
i had my phone on me and it popped up with it being disconnected
so those weird txt messages i got monday did mean something after all...crap
after a walk with mum i got home and showed my brother
he basically said someone has got hold of my number and cancelled my contract
for what purpose, i cam still trying to learn
but my brother says sometimes its a way of scamming people out of money
my network said cus ive terminated the contract early i have to pay the access of my phone off
£186...
just what is going off!?
i couldnt cope and was on the verge of a panic attack
i cried
i was tired, i didnt understand, i hadnt done anything, and as the contract is still in my dads name - it involves dad...
my brother kindly rang up on my dads behalf
and someone from the fraud team is suppose to ring us up well today or tomorrow but seeing as its 8pm im guessing it will be tomorrow
i couldnt cope at all
i took myself away and sat in a ball
just silently crying
mum came to me and said it would get sorted
dad came home and my mum and brother filled him in as i couldnt even face doing that
he advised i check my bank account and stop any money going to the network in case they tried to take the outstanding £186
i have no idea why this has happened. why me? i cant handle this crap
so im hoping so badly it gets sorted tomorrow as i cant cope and i want sleep
tonight i doubt im gonna sleep with this looming over me
mum says i look shattered
i managed to have some soup at 2pm
my stomach felt twisted in a 100 knots
then i kinda thought "nothing more i can do right now"
so i went into the garden with mum and Oz
she was gardening and Oz was 'assisting'
i decided to do bare feet yoga for the first time this year
it was so hot out too and i always enjoy bare foot yoga
Oz kept coming and licking my face or my feet....
he was rolling in the soil mum had turned it was cute
we were all warm tho and sweating
i did chill out a bit and mum has reassured me we will get it sorted
i came in and played on my switch as i havent done that for a few days now
just needed chill out time
i painted my nails too
i made myself a sandwich for dinner as i didnt feel like much
then i went into my room to draw and zone out
i cant seem to get on with the second lolita girl i drew so ive started a fresh one
its going well so far
i do all my best art work when im in a down mood
honestly the art i have whipped out when im upset is loads better than my usual stuff XD
but i like this girl shes coming along well :)
tonight god knows how the night will go
i feel sick now like i have done all day but i ache
so do i take more pain killers and feel even more sick or deal with pain?
tomorrow
well i hope my phone gets sorted
and im having a normal day at home then im going over to jack's in the evening hopefully
as dad is decorating on friday so im gonna be gone for that
