I slept pretty well last night
I got ready to see adam this morning
felt a little weird not being able to txt him as last night
his phone wouldnt charge and there for died, he texted me using his mummy's phone
I did a bit of dancing before I went out, got really sweaty in just 15mins! Effort!
So I got to his for 11am
we went out into a town and dropped his phone off for repair
we then went into a travel agents
where we were there for agessssss
the woman who saw to us was brilliant she wasnt a hard sell and gave us her
opinion and help
we sat looked at places and places until we decided on
Tenerife, for 17th October for a week!
We are staying in a lovely resort that has a water park 30min walk away!
It ticked a lot of boxes and we just got it booked
Adam paid the deposit for us
then we went to lunch, lunch i was wondering whether id be able to keep it down or not
i was nervous, anxious, feel sick. Just cus booking something this big is a bit of a shock to my system i have to say! Adam said I was curled in a ball on my seat in the travel agent he said i was tense when i came out too ><
We went back to his house and told his dad
and I didnt have too long with him really because I had psychiatrist to go and see
I saw mum's friend who works there too, I was embarrassed tho
The guy who saw me was helpful and got me to explain whats going off even tho he had my notes from my psychologist
I told him and went through a few things
he seemed pretty certain that he had a diagnosis for me
which surprised me as my psychologist didnt even seem to know whats going off
he thinks I have DID Dissociative Identity Disorder
which was formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder
I had heard of it, I mean I think a lot of us have heard of Multiple personality disorder
he said there isnt a cure (theres never a cure for anything i have/get!) he said I could try medication but nothing is out there that will cure it or even have an effect and they come with heavy side effects too, I told him I was loathe to try any medication. He said he will talk to my psychologist to talk about further treatment that will probably end up being talking sessions and after that fails apply for funding to go see a specialist.
It's kinda rare but there could be just as many people with DID as there is schizophrenia or Bipolar but not many people come forward and ask for help who have DID do to them feeling embarrassed and ashamed which I felt once I had been 'labeled'
So on friday im due to see the psychologist
see what happens from there
I came home and told mum and asked her if she felt ashamed or anything of me
she told me she didnt and that she feels sorry for me having it
I then texted adam about it
im not sure who I want to know. It sounds crazy
I dont want people to treat me differently or think me crazy.
still digesting it. I cant bare to tell any other family about it.
dad wont care and my brother i dont want him to feel he has a crazy sister.
Tomorrow I have karen and then maybe yoga
see how i feel
Card I made for my cousin who will be 20 soon!
