I had another sodding nightmare
can you believe that?
thats 3 days in row
this one was about being captured by some sort of werewolf creature and being slung around and finally it clasped my wrists and i tried to fight it off screaming and kicking and thats when i woke up when it looked like it was gonna go in for the kill
i woke up sweaty
i was not impressed, plushies over the floor, covers a mess
i got up as id had enough
it was 3:30
at 4:10am i did half hour of yoga then at 4:45am went back to bed
but to be honest i was up again at 5am as i just could not sleep
so ive started my day at 3:30am
i showered at 6:20am as id had enough of feeling gross from my nightmare
then i slowly got ready
id eaten a fair amount before i went work but then i had been up 5 hours before having to leave the house and also i knew i wouldnt be eating at work
got to work and so many people said congratulations to me
seems theyre happy that im staying on ^^
so that was nice
i had some lesson prep to do in the morning
and then some cleaning up
so much washing up of Jack's
we sat down for lunch, id had real bad stomach pain all morning to the point where it felt like a knife was digging in me, its not been this bad before. So i felt crap anyway cus i have done last few days, i was on 3 hours sleep, i had stomach ache. i just wanted to go home. i did feel a bit faint at times but didnt say anything i kept going.
after lunch, i did some more lesson prep and some running around. managed to escape printing tho which was nice. and topped up the labs
i managed everything today with little help too so that was good
I spoke to jack about the interview
he said how well i did
i told him just cus im his girlfriend he doesnt have to say stuff like that to me
but he meant it
he talked to head of science and stuff about me that i am more capable that what i think i am and its just confidence with me
he said i did everything right really
it was good feedback to have and made me feel better
i came home, god knows how as i think i could have fallen asleep at the wheel
mum made me a brew and i fell asleep on the sofa immediately afterwards for an hour
sheer exhaustion
i woke up and mum said i looked white
i havent done much since then other than shower - again - as im still having cold sweats like i have been having last few days so i felt gross
and i just laid or sat round im just so damn tired
mum and dad spoke to me
theyre concerned
i mean before i left the house this morning my mum said "you do worry me"
i said "why?"
she said "oh you just do"
so yeah mum and dad talked to me
basically my dad has been ringing up hypnotherapists today as he thinks i should go see one, mum ordered me some tablets to help with pain and digestion
im grateful but i also feel crap about it all
as im the source of their concern
i dont mind trying tablets
hypnotherapy tho, ive just got out of sodding psychology sessions and its gonna suck not to mention its got Eko's hackles raised so im now dealing with a stroppy teenager in my head
so tired of it all
wish i could sleep and eat
how will i cope with a full time job is what my whole family is asking
i uploaded the picture i did of Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket
ive had a lot of good feedback from friends with it
not sure what next picture will be
tomorrow not sure what im doing yet
depends how i feel
my Yosakoi fan came today tho :D
so pretty~
please sleep tonight
i need escapism
no more nightmares please
