I just got back from yoga
it was good actually
only felt like 30mins instead of an hour
we attempted splits
Anyway I had another violent dream last night
i cant recall all the details now I just know there
was a good amount of blood involved
I woke up at 7:30am
It was lashing it down this morning so all pets were indoors
Oz was so happy to be in my bedroom XD
I got ready for therapy
not wanting to go out in the rain
Therapy well where to start
She asked me if I did my homework I told her yes
and I went on to say I had started doing these 30 min drawings
she asked if I had brought them
I got my sketch book out of my bag
and it all went from there really
She looked through them at her own pace
she then got me to tell her what the picture kinda means/represents
and what I was feeling at the time when I drew them
it was last night's drawing she was particularly interested in
honestly she even said "Im hooked, I've got to know who this girl is"
she even took a photo of it! for 'reference' she said
so we talked about the picture
I told her things i have NEVER shared with anyone
well I shared a bit with my acupuncturist actually
but apart from him NO ONE knows
I have never been brave enough to tell anyone
I feared telling anyone
I sat there thinking 'how much should I tell her?'
but I thought 'if I am to get better I need to be honest'
so it was like opening a can of worms
I didnt get upset but I was shaking at the end of it
we spent the whole session on that 1 picture!
I asked her what were going to do before I showed her that picture
she told me she had a sheet ready to start mapping out coping methods
but she said "I don't feel we can start that yet until I have gotten to the bottom of this girl"
she then went on to say "is it ok if I talk to my supervisor about this? I have a few theories I would like to discuss with her"
I told her it's fine and it was ok to show her the picture as well if she wanted to
I got away with no homework this week!
Going again on thursday
I walked to Boyes with my legs and hands shaking
I picked up a lot actually
I certainly got my money's worth of stuff
I needed to stock up on items and get stuff for Karen's bunting
It's hard to shop for stuff when I have someone with me so I tend to stock up
when I know I am by myself and can go at my leisure
I came home and had a hot chocolate to try cure the shaking
I sat with my little girls for the 2nd time today :)
Then I went to go put all my purchases away
I sorted out a few bunting flags just pinning stuff - no sewing today D;
Adam arrived so I did us cheese on toast
we sat and talked with a brew
dad came home so I took adam and Oz upstairs
Oz entertained adam whilst I finished up pinning my bunting
just so it meant I could put a lot of stuff back instead of keeping it all out
Then we went out for an ice cream since I was owed it from tuesday
he said I wasnt owed it at all
but my argument was that because he took so long to shower on tuesday that
we ran out of time to go
I got Vanilla and he kindly paid ><
we walked round charity shops but I got nothing
then he popped into the florist and brought me these ><
So sweet of him. I felt my cheeks burn big style
adam said "you're blushing"
"I am not"
"you really are. You have colour in your cheeks"
"how insulting, are you saying Im usually paled faced hmm?"
"i can clearly see how red they are"
"actually I can feel them burning and blood flowing to them which is unusual for my corpse body"
they are pretty and I arranged them when I got home
when we were at adams we sat with the TV on in the background and talked with his dad, pretty usual stuff really. hayfever has been driving me up the wall today its always worse after the rain.
I left to come home for yoga
and now im here debating whether to draw or not or whether to leave it tonight
I have one idea of a face shrouded in darkness but then I have another idea formed from today which is more happier I have to say XD
My brother got a job today!!
an actual job at 22 years old!
i can not believe it. Im happy for him cus it would have been a very
long boring summer for him
and it does him good to actually have a job
tomorrow I have got my last day of school!
i dont want to go as usual but I know its last shift and to just get it done!
