Evening
Tadaima~
I am home~~
Friday I left to go to jack's due to my dad redecorating on the saturday morning
He let me in, but then went straight back to D&D on his computer
so I sat catching up with Theo til jack had finished
it was good to see Theo
then the three of us talked for a bit and went to bed
i couldnt sleep really and ended up having a rather violent nightmare
jack said i was whimpering and almost crying he was gonna wake me as his attempts to sooth me in my sleep werent working, until i yelled out and woke myself up
i was having a nightmare with my other half, and she can't half dish out some punishment
so safe to say i couldnt sleep easily after that!
saturday
we had a lazy saturday really
we did a walk
we played switches
then over 5 hours was taken up with socialising!
as at 4pm jack's family wanted to talk to him
so we had a split screen of
jack's brother
jack's mum + sisters
jack's nan
then us 2
it was good fun to talk to them as i havent spoken to them in quite a while
and they all seemed to be doing well
we spoke for an hour and a half
then we had dinner
then we signed into another video talk
with jack's school friends - the hogwarts crew i call them
they were all having a drink and chatting
it was good i really enjoyed it
and i kept robbing bits of jack's gin & lemonade
thinking it might help me to sleep
we stayed up chatting til midnight
they all still make fun of jack and ask me why i go out with him XD
they all make fun of one another, but its funny
they like my innocence as well it seems
but i never feel uncomfortable or left out when im with them
i do feel 'one of the lads' somehow this has happened XD
we signed out and went to bed
jack had had a few drinks so was pretty ready for bed
i on the other hand could not get comfy and was in a lot of pain
i told him i was getting up for a bit
he was gonna join me but i couldnt see the point in us both being tired
so i left him in bed and joined him at 2:30am
i had tried to get comfy in the living room but wasnt happening
so that was another rough night
sunday we got up and jack showed me a few exercises he does
and theo and jack got me to do a press up and after i did it, they had gone silent
i was like "what?" thinking 'was it bad? was my butt sticking up?'
but it turns out it was cus jack does 'girly' press ups he does them on his knees XD
i hadnt realised he was THAT weedy XD
so yeah i can out press up my boyfriend
then he did sit ups and i find that easy
so i was doing them next to him as she shakily came up and down
he was like "how you even doing that!? are you just moving your hips?"
i said "no im doing sit ups"
theo piped in "dont have ago jack, just cus shes got a core and you havent" XD
he looked quite deflated by the end of it all
he went to theo's weights and i did yoga as i wasnt prepared to hurt my joints with weights
we went for a walk later and made food and played switches
then he had his online gaming so i was theo whilst he was playing on his switch
then we sat talking to harvey and they were both disgusted that jack had chose games over me
but im fine with it doesnt bother me
theo considered himself babysitting me XD
that night i couldnt sleep, i tried til about 12:30 and said to jack i couldnt do it
i had put blanket on the mattress and i was wrapped in the dressing gown
but it wasnt enough
so for the 3rd night i had to sleep on top of the duvet wrapped in dressing gowns and blankets
jack started to join in but i told him he may as well sleep normally in the bed
he wouldnt hear it he wanted to be able to cuddle me so he too slept on top of the duvet
and i did eventually sleep but woke up so late...10:15am!
we went for a big walk and talked and stuff
it was overall a pretty relaxed weekend
we didnt do anything we said we would do as we just socialised instead or relaxed
it was what i needed actually
the only thing i didnt enjoy was that yesterday i realise i had forgotten my antidepressant....
just hadnt brought them from home...
so i havent had any since friday morning
i was very dizzy and unsteady on my feet and couldnt think straight
and wondered why
and when i was doing my medication it did look like i was one missing but couldnt work it out
so that would explain the nightmares on the first night as that has been the closest ive come to changing in 6months and my antidepressants do keep a lid on that
but i did feel ok mentally so i said to jack "maybe i dont need them, and i only feel a bit dizzy"
he didnt look convinced
but this afternoon after our walk i couldnt stop having cold sweats and was dizzy
so i think the withdrawal was rearing it's head
i came home at 5pm and took my medication
and i have stopped shaking and sweating luckily
as i didnt want to tell my mum "oh i havent had any antidepressants for 3 days" wouldnt have gone down well so i was hoping to cure the problem without her knowing
and i think i have managed that
i didnt want to leave jack
he has given me flump again ^^
im seeing him this weekend as dad is decorating my parents bedroom this time
so i will be escaping once again
its been a nice break and i think i needed to get out for a bit
im just tired now
when i got home i sat with my Ozwald straight away
mum says hes been a bit sulky which he usually is when im not there
i will sit with him again tonight
i checked my emails and i still have no work
tomorrow i will start my jacket hopefully
but i want to do some dancing or something
as i havent done any and im missing it!
