Good Evening~~
Today is my brothers birthday!!! yay yay he turns 22 today!! :D
I've put up with him 22 years. scary! XD
He
took the 'join the dots naughty positions' book I had brought and
wrapped for him to college. He opened it there and had a laugh with
people. One of his class mates was completing one, went to the teacher
saying "ive finished one" the teacher laughed and said "whos is that?"
"oh its not mine" "course it isnt" my brother recorded it all XD im glad
he found it amusing in his day.
I also gave him the two t-shirts i brought from manchester last year with mia and a scarf~
he liked his gifts :D mum made him some biscuits cus he prefers biscuits to cake DX
I hope he manages to celebrate his birthday
I think most he wants to do with us is a take away pizza on friday night
Man was I cold last night
I couldnt get to sleep once again. I was roasting as well
but I ended up cold and about 5 hours sleep
getting up at 7am to a freezing house was no something I enjoyed
I must have walked round the house tense and with a face on me XD
School I had a talk with the teacher about the child I provide care for
she wants the child to be more involved in the class which works for me
and I understand she still needs to be apart of her class but a lot of the time
i personally think she could be doing some more productive than on the carpet
with her class mates not understanding a thing whats being said
but its a fine line
but today we did some painting, another layer of her hot air balloon
english and maths she got it all done today
apparently she was tired yesterday afternoon! i had tired her out!!!
She's 6 she should have more energy than me XD
I hope I can get it all right. I just keep doing my best
Got home and mum had soup on for me ^^
which was nice of her
Then we both went outside to clean our cars
cus my god my car!!! It has not been done this year
so I hoovered, polished the inside then washed the outside it looks much better
and hopefully when new freshener comes it will smell better too
Then I went for a walk with mum
came in and did some cross stitching whilst watching Jon Richardson 'how to survive the end of the world' which I had missed last week.
Then I went upstairs and made a pair of mouse ears for my cosplay on thursday
I have it all ready now :)
Now im trying to do some stretches and dances before shower
then sit with tiffs
Im feeling really anxious today im not sure whats gone off
seems to get worse if i think about adam which just puts me into doubt
normally if you like someone you should want to see em and be happy if you think of them right?
but today ive felt nothing but anxiety about it all. The anxiety has affected my head also so tonight im gonna take sleeping tablets as i have a strong feeling i aint gonna sleep tonight with my head a mess.
hopefully it will all be ok tomorrow
hate anxiety but i dont let it mess my day up!
I could quite easily not the leave the house tomorrow but as much as id like to do that i know id really hate myself for giving in and not going out.
so sod the anxiety
Tomorrow I have school once again
and hopefully just to lunch time ^^
Then I think im seeing adam tomorrow at some point...? who knows!
Im gonna wear this new hair tie/scrunchie i have
it's based on Dedenne from Pokemon :D
I won it in a bid auction for £3.10 ^^ well happy
I havent worn it yet~
Evening~~
I slept for 3 hours last night -_____-
could not believe my luck and it was monday morning too ><
I was dreading school asking me to stay for the whole day
luckily they didnt!
i got to school had tea and toast with the child
then we got some work done which was good for her actually
then I went on the hunt round the school for a balloon
seeing as their topic this term is ''transport'
i decided id make with her a 3D hot air balloon
as my luck would have it a child came into school randomly with a balloon
i asked the teacher and she said i could have it as the child wouldnt realize it was gone
i felt a bit awful but it was going to good use!
So I sat in the art room with her and did some paper mache which she loved and did
really well actually
then break and i actually got a bit of a break
next was programming....seriously. programming for 7 years old
why? just why? some of em cant even log into a computer!!!!
mental
and its gonna go beyond her understanding
but it ended up being a bit of game outside instead of being on a computer
but it was very cold and wet a lot of the kids were soaked
the child in my care was bored out her wits but the teacher wouldnt let her out it
we were taught by her teacher from last year and he is strick! it was a relief to have the usual
year 2 teacher back!
then it was time for me to clock off. i did the paperwork i needed to
so good day at school
just got soaked coming home
i was frozen to my core after being stood outside for an hour then cycling
i came in, had cheese on toast and slept for 2 hours
I woke up and had a brew with mum and tiffs
then i went to karens and had hot stone massage!! its been well over a year since ive had hot stones
felt sooo good. makes you a lil nauseous but its fine
then tonight just done a bit of dancing and sorting stuff out
got stuff in mind to do at school tomorrow
here is gifts im gonna send to my cousin this week
with my first pay cheque from my new job i thought id treat her cus shes like my lil sis
so i brought her a A4 Gumi folder to put ether her uni work in or art work in general
then a bracelet to wear when shes feeling low she can put it on and think of me knowing im thinking of her ^^ Gumi is her favourite character and the bracelet is from one her favourite animes Sword Art Online. I do hope she likes em
school again tomorrow~~~
would like to clean my car tomorrow! i ordered a new freshener for it
Good Evening~~
Today i woke up at 8am needing a drink ><
I got up and stuff had a hot choc for 'breakfast'
im not really a fan of food today
Then I climbed back into bed ><
I fell asleep and got up at 11am
Adam txt to say he'd be ready to meet up at 1:30pm
which was fine with me cus it gave me time to finish the baby quilt :D
I did actually get it totally finished as well ^^
Then I picked him up.
I was just jumper and joggers no make-up
cus frankly i could not be bothered! I just NEEDED to rest today
We had a brew downstairs then
laid on my bed whilst talking he gave me plenty of cuddles and I feel like I use him
as a climbing frame haha the positions i get in whilst messing around with him
he kissed the top of head and my cheek several hundred times XD
We played on pokemon and I caught and Eevee :D a wild eevee! you used only be able to catch
1 on the entire game on like red, yellow version
We came downstairs for another brew and sat in the living room where mum was and dad
was at the back on the computer so we talked to them i thought it would be best
to socialize and not lock our selves away that way people begin to know one another
i didnt realize it at first but i was leaning on adam, poor guy he has become a comfy rest to me XD
Then we went back upstairs
he good at reading me, when im shy or when im thinking about something
he never pushes anything or backs if if he thinks im not happy
but hes never annoyed me or upset me hes easy to get along with
id like to meet him family one day~
I took him home at 6:15pm as it was windy and raining
another storm they say><
Since then just got stuff ready for tomorrow including painting my nails ^^
Tomorrow is school in the morning ONLY im hoping XD
maybe i'll be able to get some dancing done in the afternoon
as i didnt get the chance last week!!
me and adam said we'd meet for lunch on wednesday i think
here's the card i gave to mum and dad to say thanks for tiffins care
Konbanwa~~
Nothing like an 11 hour sleep X3
But I ended up waking up at 9am
meaning I didn't have a lot of time to do my jobs AND get ready
to meet up with adam
so I ended up meeting him half hour later than what we originally said
I picked him up and we drove into a town
we went into a cafe I got the drinks we just started to drink then I heard Den, lynn's husband!
I havent seen him in such a long time it was lovely to see him
i drank my drink and i suddenly came over unbearably hot i couldnt cool down
i was sweating literally everywhere i felt like id never been cool again
so i pretty much got up and left i felt sorry for den leaving so soon
but i NEEDED air desperately i cooled down eventually
but even adam said i was hot cus he knows im usually as cold as a corpse as i say
we walked round the shops - charity of course!
I picked up some shoes which are pink and £2.50 to wear on thursday for world book day at school as i decided to go as 'angelina ballerina' i have everything but shoes so i was happy i found some
i probably wont wear em after but theyre cheap enough
i have got some cat ears which are a lil rounded im hoping will serve me as mouse ears
Then I told him I wanted to buy some flowers for mum and chocolate for dad to go with the card i have brought to say thank you for supporting me with tiffin
whilst i was getting flowers he said he wanted to buy me some
i was a bit taken back by that. NO ONE has ever brought me flowers
when my voice returned i told him he didnt need to
he wanted to ><
he picked me up red roses no less ><
did shut me up big time i wasnt even sure how to respond
he followed up by kissing the back of my hand!! =>.<=
he told me my face was red
i said i was chameleon and blended in with the roses
so for the first time in my life i had flowers to put in a vase in my room :)
we then went to have lunch in a pub the cafes are small and busy therefor noisy
pubs are far bigger and usually quieter than cafes during lunch hours
and i was right~ we even got a sofa type seating so we were able to sit comfortably
we both had chicken
then we sat there just relaxing and talking for a while
went for a walk then round a park
then i drove us to a cafe we've been in a few times together now
we had hot chocolate i got them as he brought lunch
then he walked me to my car
i realized when i got him that i had lost a glove :( a cat paw glove no less
so ive ordered a new pair and a different colour for £1.60
When i got home mum and dad we not back yet so i was able to write the card
and do the flowers in a vase ready with the chocolates ^^
i sat and did some cross stitch then got tiffs out
then the girls came out and sat on my bed
since then just done odd jobs
and wrapped up my cousin's present to send to her
mum was very pleased with my card and flowers she told me i didnt need to
but i wanted to. i wanted to show her i appreciate it all. i mean they have spent like £1000 on tiffin now and i would look ungrateful if i did nothing
i told her adam had brought me flowers...instantly she was like "where are they!?"
i told her they were in my room
she didnt hesitate
she was impressed with red roses and said it was very sweet of him
i think shes impressed with adam actually
got a nail design ready for tomorrow :D doing a mix of pink as it will go well with my outfit on thursday :D google angelina ballerina shes a white mouse~
tomorrow i am suppose to be seeing adam
as much as i want to go somewhere with him i think it will be best if i stay home
im not gonna have enough energy to tackle the week if i dont rest at some point over the weekend
seeing as he brought Pokemon Y this week i think we're just gonna play on pokemon at one of our houses. so should be nice :) sunday is my worst day of the week so hopefully having a friend over will make it go quicker!!
Otsukaresama deshita~~~~
I could not get up this morning
I hadnt slept well
for one my brother turned his TV on at 1am and it was very loud
and that woke me up
but im so tired and drained
I got up and got ready some how!
I arrived at school to find out that there was staff off poorly, staff on training, visitors to attend to, a class trip out to tesco
all in all they were short staffed
i was asked by 3 members of staff if i could stay the whole day ><
I was really looking forward to going out with mum this afternoon
but what can you do
so i txted mum to say i was staying
My morning consisted of tea and toast
then suddenly another TA which i have tea and toast with came to me and said
in 10 mins she me and the child in my care along with the child she cares for
are going for a trip to tesco
so that was all spur of the moment
The TA drove us there in her car
we picked a few bits
got back and made 'pizza' in the staff room it was nice actually
Then break time
After break I did a game with the child
then we had some p.e. which is basically getting the kids moving round nothing sporty
lunch came and mum picked me up and brought me home ^^
I came back just as the lunch whistle blew so i was just in time!
After lunch I went outside with the child for a lil while
we came in and went round the school for a while and i did some role play with her
we did some painting together
then it was 1 hour of class play time so i encouraged her to play with her class friends
which she did luckily so i could do odd jobs
towards the end of the day a TA called me over to talk to me
she ended up keeping me til almost 4pm!
we talked about how I can help the child and the paperwork they'd like me to do about her
i was so happy as no one has talked to me on how i can help her
so i went through her school books and talked about all sorts
i suppose ive had this week to get settled in with her so as of next week
i will be doing proper TA work with her basically
it feels more professional and what ive trained to do
i am looking forward to it!!
came home and went out to the doctors which was a waste of time
then mum talked to me about adam
i got upset just because im struggling with feeling or should i say lack of
im not sure how i feel about anything and i have zero confidence to even start a relationship
mum seemed to encourage me into having a relationship with adam
but of course only if i wanted to but i think she was telling me that it was ok and not to worry what she thought about it all. but i cant let go and enjoy and trust. i just have walls round me i cant seem to take down. im so unsure of everything. but mum just said take it one day at a time and just enjoy each others company and if something comes of it then it will just happen if not then we will stay friends.
im just gonna take one day at a time
did make me a lil upset. which makes me feel even more immature
i asked her why she thought i had autistic traits
she told me that i always have to tidy my room before i sleep, everything has it's place, i like things to be right, things done a certain way. i said to her "if you base it off that then everyone's on the spectrum cus everyone has certain ways of doing things and getting things how you like em"
sure of that
im not autistic ><
Tomorrow I think I seeing adam
we're going to a little town where my college used to be
going cafe and charity shops are :D
Here is something i won on ebay from japan for £2.80
it flashes pokemon and its solar powered!!!
never seen a solar powered keychain before
Good Evening~~~~
I needed waking this morning
seems i was enjoying my dream a lil too much ><
good job dad remembered to wake me!!
Weather was awful this morning!!!
Rain lashing in strong gales
I actually took my CAR to school today
I cant remember the last time I drove to school
but it was horrible out there and parents worried about my safety
the wind has blow trees over and trampolines it has been awful!
School was alright same old kinda thing
Quite entertaining as I got to make jam sandwiches with the child XD
We got the work done as well
I got home
had lunch
went and rested on my bed then it was time to take tiffin to the vets
i went to put him in his carrier, he went all limp bless him ><
The vets were pleased with how he was doing
they have given him another 2 weeks of anti-biotic and would like to see him in 3 weeks time
hopefully he will be able to shake this chest infection
Came home and just laid on my bed with tiffin under my bed
i just couldnt think i was tired and just enjoyed the quietness
i cant usually 'do nothing' but i just seemed to manage it today!
then it was yoga
which was good and nice to have karen helping me even if she has got her feet on
me at times XD
Tomorrow I am at school for the morning
then Im coming home and going out with mum to find this tiffin's cafe about 20min drive away
then were hitting the charity shops!
should be nice as we werent able to do it on my birthday week
I took photos of something I brought the other day online for £4
2 Japanese children's books
they are purely in japanese and aimed at a child's level of japanese
but i hope to be able to understand it. it will be a goal
this is more achievable than the chrono crusade script
mum lost a stone today! she hit a good target
dad decided it would be hilarious to wrap up an actual stone and give it to her -___-
he did also give her some flowers XD
but she only has a few more pounds to go! shes done amazing on her diet!
mum made me gobsmacked today saying 'im sure your on the autistic spectrum'
what the hell do you say to that!!!!!
Konbanwa~~
I woke up at 6:58am
my body alarm clock is just awesome isnt it! X3
how does it know when to wake up like that!?
My morning at school was good
It really doesnt feel like work
My morning from 8:30am til 12:15pm consisted of
tea and toast with the child
helped her get changed for p.e. in the staffroom(which she found funny and had to point out to every adult who came in that she was naked -____-)
Took her to p.e. to which i supervised her and kept her on task
got her changed again
then break time (loads of chocolates in the staffroom today!!!)
then music to which the class just sung a new song she joined in but the last half hour
we played outside together
then it was lunch and at which time i clock off
how good is that!?
Came home and rested cus i was quite done in
mum wanted to go for a walk but i didnt want to
she had bathed the girls and there were sooooooo soft :D
finally smelt nice!
I picked up adam in the end and brought him over to my house :)
we both weren't doing anything for the rest of the day and i wanted to show him
my pets ^^ and my bedroom of course cus its amazing XD
bedrooms tell a lot about a person they really do
ive seen his and i wanted to him mine :)
so i showed him my pets
tiffin couldnt be arsed to move from the back of the shed so all adam could do was look at him >.>
but the girls i got out and he had a fuss of them ^^
then we had a brew downstairs mum came home and so i introduced
i went to show him my bedroom
we sat and talked on my bed
then he asked me to move my 101 plushies haha so i moved them on the floor ><
and we laid on the bed talked, tickling, pushing, pulling you name it. just mild play fighting on a bed
it was mild cus it was 2 people on a single bed and one of those people is 6ft 4" XD no room!!!
he gave me cuddles an stroked my back i felt like a cat cus i lap up any attention like that ><
but he tried to stroke my tummy and thats no-no i curled up instantly which surprised him XD
dont like that nor did i trust he wouldnt do a barrage of tickles on me ><
he kissed the top of my head and my hand =>.<= Jozu not used to such acts of affection
and boy does he know it too. I told him "you're very patient with me" most girls are confident being round guys. im just immature and want to fight all the time
yeah no guy will want me XD
Then I've just caught up with everything at home
but my god am i tired!!!
tomorrow got school again
same hours
then tiffin at the vets followed by yoga!
today i talked to the receptionist at school today turns out she is massive fan of charity shop shopping!!!! who'd a thought!! she always looks really nice no way would i think she shops at charity shops she was so thrilled to hear i like them too she wants to go out to them one day with me!!! ><
also i learned another TA at school has qualified in reflexology which what i go have done at karens!!
she was so shocked to hear i have it regualry as she doesnt know anyone in school who even shall we say 'believes' in it. so we talked about that. so i learned 2 things in 30 mins
people need to talk to each other more i think
Good Evening~~~
I woke up 4:30am 5:30am 6:30am then stayed away to get up just before 7am
It was just another morning but I did put the pets outside at like 7am
and i think they felt a bit out of place coming out and outside at such an early time XD
But worked for me as both mum and myself needed to get out this morning
School was fine just hard work really when your with the little ones
I was given a board game to play with the children i turned the box over to read the instructions
and I saw written on the back was 'Mrs.Waters' my eyes popped out their head
Mrs.Waters was MY teacher when I was in the reception class so aged 4
I was shocked they still had a game from the 90's and that all the pieces were still there!!!
shocking!
So my day consisted of just being a teaching assistant really
nothing special
at lunch I sat with Tom, we're both single, he was telling me about girls hes recently dated
and that he made one cry at the weekend!!
He patted me on the shoulder and said "it's alright for you, you have a boyfriend"
I shot him evils and resisted the urge to chase him out the room as he left me whilst laughing
Hes a bit of a geek but im gonna miss him
hes on my level and same age
I left school and had a brew with mum then sat for an hour doing some cross stitch
in the quiet as it was nice just being in the quiet
then been with pets
tomorrow i am working 8:30am til 12:15pm so easy shift
and start my shift with tea and toast with my little partner
should be a nice morning :)
Here's something i got in the post
another choker~~ sakura style only £1.60
i like chokers cus they feel like collars
and as i put the collar on myself it shows no one else owns me XD
Konbanwa~~~
I got up for work this morning
amazingly my body automatically woke me up at 7:01am!!!
Impressive~ I have been known to have an auto-alarm-clock XD
I was told what my role would be for the coming weeks
I am basically to be a play buddy for a year 2
and its quite a cushy job actually
even though she has learning difficulties she is really nice girl and very well behaved
the last thing i wanna be dealing with for weeks is a bratty kid
and every morning I am to take her to the staff room for tea and toast!!!
So im happy with my role :D
Tomorrow is different though as I've got to cover a TA in the youngest class for the entire day
after that I will be back being play buddy
So today I basically had tea and toast
did some 'writing' and some maths
and played with some games, play dough, read, play with toys, outside to play
then i came home and went to bed really
i was gonna dance but i was tired, couldnt be bothered and kept screwing up ><
Tonight I went over to Tara's house
I havent seen her for a while
she gave me my birthday presents ^^
she got my pokemon socks, little lights, a home made candle, hair bows, nail varnish set :)
I saw her bunnies too I gave them a bag of treats cus tiffin didnt like em, hes a snob XD
I filled her in about my half term and about adam she gave a good opinion of him simply cus i told her he used to have a bunny, plays pokemon like we do and doesnt sleep around XD
so tomorrow I am working 8:30-3:30 yup im gonna be tired
but it will fine im sure
this came in the post~~~~
I have never seen this character before and it was just listed as 'unknown plush'
in all honesty i thought judging by the photos that it was a bunny...?
but its actually a bat caled Chupacabra
who'da thought huh
I won him for £2.80 no one else bidded so I ended up with him XD
But I've actually really fallen in love with the little guy
hes cute and I do like bats anyway
I was gonna hang him up but he's found a place on my bed X3
Tiffin seems to be doing well
he's eating really well I just hope he puts some weight on
Good Evening all~~
I woke up at 8ish
I didnt wanna get up
don't know whats up with me as of late
i just want to hibernate i think!
I sat and did some sewing
messed up but luckily fixed the problem
i was sewing the baby's name on the blanket but it looked terrible
then at 11am i decided I should get dressed so I could go see adam
I picked him up
he was like at the door ready i laughed and said
"you havent told your parents you're out with a girl today have you?"
"no way"
"haha how come?"
"its not worth the 100s of questions i'll be bombarded with!"
i wasnt fussed it just made me laugh
I drove into the city centre and from there we walked to an underground mini golf
its been here a few years now like 5 or so years but i've never once been
a few of my friends have but i never even think to go
plus golfing is not my kinda thing
but adam said he had a free game to use up!
It was a strange place, really themed kinda like how america theme places and go to town with it
it was themed as a jungle? i think it was a island jungle
quite dark and there was 2 routes
i chose the left one
adam later told me it was the harder one
i was glad i chose the harder one
if its easy where's the fun in that?
it was 18 hole
i had an orange ball my favourite colour ^^
My first hole i got a hole-in-one! beginners luck or what!
but i ended up losing XD i knew i would but i enjoyed it and didnt take it seriously
i was surprised about how accurate my shot was, several time the ball skimmed the hole
but cus i whack it too hard the ball didnt fall in. it just laughed at me...
on multiple occasions...
we finished up and adam had a free drink's token (god knows where that came from)
if you got a hole-in-one on the 18th hole you get a free game
he got a free game again
for like the 4th time -_____- show off >.>
Then we went looking for some food~
we went to a pub my granny used to go in with her friends
ive never been before so i wanted to know what it was like for her
i ordered vegetable butternut squash lasagne it was good but i didnt eat the garlic bread
adam had a mixed grill with everything possible on his plate
seriously how do some guys eat the amount they do!?
from there i had tummy ache >< but i didnt say anything
he paid also, and he had paid for gold even though we only had to pay for 1 person
we went shops i didnt pick up anything cus i only went on friday
shops were closing as they do on a sunday
i said i wanted to leave cus id had enough frankly of walking round, i had stomach ache, and i needed to not do myself in as i have a week's worth of work starting tomorrow.
on the way back we stopped off at a cafe for cake and hot drink
i had toffee cake
god it was sweet
it would kill a diabetic i think!
he had some chocolate moose
ewww moose ><
then i went home
as my stomach ache really kicked off after the cake
and i actually said to adam at this point i had got stomach ache
it got a bit unbearable for some reason
and thats been my day
its been very nice and hes good company
he told me hes gonna leave his work place and he even told his boss that last night!
i think i have been behind all that but i hope he isnt changing job because of me
but i do think he needs a career change
tomorrow i am at my old primary school now til 31st march
but mornings only
i cant be bothered but its only for 4 hours so i cant moan
i just dont wanna get up at 7am XD
I shall try paint my nails tonight. its sunday nail night!
Here is something I won on ebay from Japan
a colouring book from the anime Cardcaptor Sakura
It's cute right :D
